"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How to stay grounded and not loose one self?

frencha

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jophil28 said:
At that stage you are whipped and beaten - you just don't know it .

Learn the power and value of silence and withdrawal.

Thank you for the truth.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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The Inside Man

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Excellent advice jophil and radh, applicable to STRs too. I certainly needed to hear it after the weekend I had. Lots of fun, but now it's time to withdraw and let the "pull" do its' thing.
 

frencha

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The Inside Man said:
Excellent advice jophil and radh, applicable to STRs too. I certainly needed to hear it after the weekend I had. Lots of fun, but now it's time to withdraw and let the "pull" do its' thing.

I did the "pull" early and not sure if I got the results I wanted to get.

At this point, should I still do it?
 

jophil28

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frencha said:
I did the "pull" early and not sure if I got the results I wanted to get.

At this point, should I still do it?
Her behavior indicates that she is an unfit investment and unlikely to pay a dividend.

What in heaven's name do you expect from her ? IF she was going to fit your expectations and meet your wants she would have bent over backwards to do just that by now.

Look down a moment - see that big yellow lever labeled EJECT.
 

Serg897

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Im not quite sure what you see in this woman. Judging from the story, she seems emotionally manipulative to the highest degree, and probably a bit insecure in herself that she feels she needs to play these ridiculous games with you. Like somebody else already said, this is definitely the Kobayashi Maru scenario applied to dating.

It seems to me that she was just throwing non-stop sh!t tests at you in an attempt to make you jealous. The "Im going to Vegas!" nonsense should have been the last straw.

I would definitely withdraw, especially emotionally. But I would also be blunt with her, and problably say something like "Im not sure if I want to be involved with someone who likes to play emotional games" - its honest, and its the god damn truth.

This is a good thread for me at the moment since Im approaching the 2 month mark with a new relationship, and its nice to keep your mind in the right place.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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frencha

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I've been struggling to understand why I'm not gone by now. Partly cause I'm am attached/whooped but also somehow I have this false pretense that behind all this b*tch attitude there is a nicer person:crackup: God... who am I kidding..

Thanks guys for the great input.
 

bam bam

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frencha said:
I've been struggling to understand why I'm not gone by now. Partly cause I'm am attached/whooped but also somehow I have this false pretense that behind all this b*tch attitude there is a nicer person:crackup: God... who am I kidding..

Thanks guys for the great input.
Yeah i'm sure there is a nice person.. Most people have some niceness and some *******ness in them. You want to being out niceness from behind all the ***** attitude dont worry about changing people or bringing out their best. That's their job your not a personal coach..

Your thing is to find the best person for you with the lest amount of head aches. The way I look at it is it's like a car.. they all eventually have problems but why buy one that has them from the get go? I'll never get a new one so I look for one that's in the best shape and worry about things when they come. Dont be hard on yourself if you need time to feel better take that time if you need time to think about her do so. But dont let it consume your personal life. A girl friend of mine has this quote she never applies to her life but always talks about it " Dont make someone a priority if your only an option"
 

frencha

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bam bam said:
Yeah i'm sure there is a nice person.. Most people have some niceness and some *******ness in them. You want to being out niceness from behind all the ***** attitude dont worry about changing people or bringing out their best. That's their job your not a personal coach..

Your thing is to find the best person for you with the lest amount of head aches. The way I look at it is it's like a car.. they all eventually have problems but why buy one that has them from the get go? I'll never get a new one so I look for one that's in the best shape and worry about things when they come. Dont be hard on yourself if you need time to feel better take that time if you need time to think about her do so. But dont let it consume your personal life. A girl friend of mine has this quote she never applies to her life but always talks about it " Dont make someone a priority if your only an option"

Wow, I just found the same quote yesterday. Thank you!
 
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