jophil28 said:At that stage you are whipped and beaten - you just don't know it .
Learn the power and value of silence and withdrawal.
Thank you for the truth.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
jophil28 said:At that stage you are whipped and beaten - you just don't know it .
Learn the power and value of silence and withdrawal.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
The Inside Man said:Excellent advice jophil and radh, applicable to STRs too. I certainly needed to hear it after the weekend I had. Lots of fun, but now it's time to withdraw and let the "pull" do its' thing.
Her behavior indicates that she is an unfit investment and unlikely to pay a dividend.frencha said:I did the "pull" early and not sure if I got the results I wanted to get.
At this point, should I still do it?
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Yeah i'm sure there is a nice person.. Most people have some niceness and some *******ness in them. You want to being out niceness from behind all the ***** attitude dont worry about changing people or bringing out their best. That's their job your not a personal coach..frencha said:I've been struggling to understand why I'm not gone by now. Partly cause I'm am attached/whooped but also somehow I have this false pretense that behind all this b*tch attitude there is a nicer person:crackup: God... who am I kidding..
Thanks guys for the great input.
bam bam said:Yeah i'm sure there is a nice person.. Most people have some niceness and some *******ness in them. You want to being out niceness from behind all the ***** attitude dont worry about changing people or bringing out their best. That's their job your not a personal coach..
Your thing is to find the best person for you with the lest amount of head aches. The way I look at it is it's like a car.. they all eventually have problems but why buy one that has them from the get go? I'll never get a new one so I look for one that's in the best shape and worry about things when they come. Dont be hard on yourself if you need time to feel better take that time if you need time to think about her do so. But dont let it consume your personal life. A girl friend of mine has this quote she never applies to her life but always talks about it " Dont make someone a priority if your only an option"