"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How to kill the ego?

rhythmic

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Any thoughts on how to shrink one's ego?

Note that ego is separate from confidence - I'm seeing confidence as self-belief, and ego as the outward projection of that self-belief.

How to generally be more humble?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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B

BeDJ

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Your ego thrives on the need for validation.

Exercise 1:

Delete their number after the first date.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Whether you have an ego or not depends on your natural personality (i.e. genetics) and life experiences.

You can't "learn" how or how not to develop an ego.
 

SeymourCake

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Look into zen meditation.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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floydb25

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BeginningDJ said:
Your ego thrives on the need for validation.
...and is usually the result of insecurity and low self-esteem. Egotistical people tend to doubt their own abilities, and feel the need to prove to themselves and others that they're awesome and successful... Even if it's true, and they know it. They still need to remind everyone of this fact over and over. But then, when they fail, or people doubt or disbelieve their awesomeness, and they can't prove them otherwise, it hits them real hard... because it's all they have, and thrive for. They need constant validation and approval from others.

The ego can definitely work against you, and it's easy to slip into an "untouchable" mindset when enough praise is granted, and success is achieved... especially when it's all new to you.

Just don't care what others think, don't feel the need to prove anything or brag about your accomplishments, and don't let success get to your head - to where you think you're above the rest... 'cause they'll just knock your ass down.

Take every success and failure as it is... no big deal, and doesn't mean anything for the future. You could succeed thrice, then fail after. Doesn't mean ****; nothing is guaranteed. Take pride in your accomplishments, but don't dwell on them.

Being humble is pretty easy. Just be friendly and normal, and don't act like a conceited jackass, or think everything comes easy; it's no problem for you; you're better and more gifted than others, because you're so awesome.
 

Ronaldo7

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Being humble is accepting the fact that you are equal to everyone else. It's accepting that you are the same as the crowd and you don't stand out. Why be humble? If you are very good at something, you should say it, demonstrate it, and show it off. It's YOUR talent after all. People want you to be 'humble' so they won't feel bad about the fact that you are better than them. As long as you can back it up, you should continue to develop that 'untouchable' mindset. It sets you apart from everyone and filters out the useless people.
 

zinc4

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Ronaldo7 said:
Being humble is accepting the fact that you are equal to everyone else. It's accepting that you are the same as the crowd and you don't stand out. Why be humble? If you are very good at something, you should say it, demonstrate it, and show it off. It's YOUR talent after all. People want you to be 'humble' so they won't feel bad about the fact that you are better than them. As long as you can back it up, you should continue to develop that 'untouchable' mindset. It sets you apart from everyone and filters out the useless people.

Wrong.............only weak people need to show off their strengths...truly strong ones are the most humble you will ever meet.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ronaldo7

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zinc4 said:
Wrong.............only weak people need to show off their strengths...truly strong ones are the most humble you will ever meet.
I don't know which type of people you have met then. Maybe living in the Philippines impairs your judgement. It is a very different culture that you are experiencing compared to America. If you can do everything you say, you are truly untouchable. It's joined together with being superior. You can always choose to be humble to please other people and not make them feel bad or less. However, it is plausible that you can state how superior you are and show exactly that. What's wrong with saying you are going to do something and doing just that?
 

sharkbeat

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Humiliate yourself consistently, by always trying new things.

I find that guys with thick egos are damn afraid of trying new things, because they know, they will get their cover blown, that they are not as cool as they think they are.
 
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