"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How to kill the ego?

rhythmic

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Any thoughts on how to shrink one's ego?

Note that ego is separate from confidence - I'm seeing confidence as self-belief, and ego as the outward projection of that self-belief.

How to generally be more humble?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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B

BeDJ

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Your ego thrives on the need for validation.

Exercise 1:

Delete their number after the first date.
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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Whether you have an ego or not depends on your natural personality (i.e. genetics) and life experiences.

You can't "learn" how or how not to develop an ego.
 

SeymourCake

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Look into zen meditation.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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floydb25

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BeginningDJ said:
Your ego thrives on the need for validation.
...and is usually the result of insecurity and low self-esteem. Egotistical people tend to doubt their own abilities, and feel the need to prove to themselves and others that they're awesome and successful... Even if it's true, and they know it. They still need to remind everyone of this fact over and over. But then, when they fail, or people doubt or disbelieve their awesomeness, and they can't prove them otherwise, it hits them real hard... because it's all they have, and thrive for. They need constant validation and approval from others.

The ego can definitely work against you, and it's easy to slip into an "untouchable" mindset when enough praise is granted, and success is achieved... especially when it's all new to you.

Just don't care what others think, don't feel the need to prove anything or brag about your accomplishments, and don't let success get to your head - to where you think you're above the rest... 'cause they'll just knock your ass down.

Take every success and failure as it is... no big deal, and doesn't mean anything for the future. You could succeed thrice, then fail after. Doesn't mean ****; nothing is guaranteed. Take pride in your accomplishments, but don't dwell on them.

Being humble is pretty easy. Just be friendly and normal, and don't act like a conceited jackass, or think everything comes easy; it's no problem for you; you're better and more gifted than others, because you're so awesome.
 

Ronaldo7

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Being humble is accepting the fact that you are equal to everyone else. It's accepting that you are the same as the crowd and you don't stand out. Why be humble? If you are very good at something, you should say it, demonstrate it, and show it off. It's YOUR talent after all. People want you to be 'humble' so they won't feel bad about the fact that you are better than them. As long as you can back it up, you should continue to develop that 'untouchable' mindset. It sets you apart from everyone and filters out the useless people.
 

zinc4

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Ronaldo7 said:
Being humble is accepting the fact that you are equal to everyone else. It's accepting that you are the same as the crowd and you don't stand out. Why be humble? If you are very good at something, you should say it, demonstrate it, and show it off. It's YOUR talent after all. People want you to be 'humble' so they won't feel bad about the fact that you are better than them. As long as you can back it up, you should continue to develop that 'untouchable' mindset. It sets you apart from everyone and filters out the useless people.

Wrong.............only weak people need to show off their strengths...truly strong ones are the most humble you will ever meet.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Ronaldo7

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zinc4 said:
Wrong.............only weak people need to show off their strengths...truly strong ones are the most humble you will ever meet.
I don't know which type of people you have met then. Maybe living in the Philippines impairs your judgement. It is a very different culture that you are experiencing compared to America. If you can do everything you say, you are truly untouchable. It's joined together with being superior. You can always choose to be humble to please other people and not make them feel bad or less. However, it is plausible that you can state how superior you are and show exactly that. What's wrong with saying you are going to do something and doing just that?
 

sharkbeat

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Humiliate yourself consistently, by always trying new things.

I find that guys with thick egos are damn afraid of trying new things, because they know, they will get their cover blown, that they are not as cool as they think they are.
 
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