how to give the impression that you are not trying to be liked?

espanish

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when I talk to a girl, how can I give the impression that I am not trying to be liked or accepted?
my answer: by actually not trying to be liked or accepted (I dont believe in fake it philosophy)
so the question is, how can stop trying to be liked or accepted? how can I become a guy who is not trying to be liked or accepted?
 

BillyPilgrim

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Troll them for fun
 

espanish

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Troll them for fun
neither trolling nor joking work for me. I think it comes off as "this guy is trying to be liked". girls like me when I am serious.
besides, my question is on how to change my psychology, your solution changes my behavior.
 

Mike32ct

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It’s a really good question. I don’t know the answer.

If IDGAF, I might unintentionally project some very subtle coldness or hostility that they could pick up on. Obviously that’s not good.

I don’t know how to do a friendly IDGAF. “Self amusement” (in the PUA sense) makes zero sense to me as an introvert.* I don’t see people as “entertainment” or view trolling as fun.

*To an introvert, self amusement doesn’t require other people at all. You are self-entertained to begin with.
 
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espanish

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It’s a really good question. I don’t know the answer.

If IDGAF, I might unintentionally project some very subtle coldness or hostility that they could pick up on. Obviously that’s not good.

I don’t know how to do a friendly IDGAF. “Self amusement” (in the PUA sense) makes zero sense to me as an introvert.* I don’t see people as “entertainment” or view trolling as fun.

*To an introvert, self amusement doesn’t require other people at all. You are self-entertained to begin with.
thanks, I love that you understood I am an introvert. I thought since I don't find self amusement in others there is something wrong with me
 

TheMonkeyKing

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I'm not sure where this philosophy arises from. Most people in life are trying to be liked, whether they are consciously doing it or not. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's a pillar of most social interaction and nothing to be ashamed of. Being cool calm and collected only gets us so far.
What is more important is being a genuine person, but being as independent as possible. And in particular, independent of outcome.
Work out what you are genuinely interested in and engage with like minded people in the appropriate context. Being genuine and authentic will be much easier, and get you much further than trying to give off some obscure social impression. More important still to engage with some introspection, and understand what you as a person are like and reflect on how people react to you. Still, remain independent to keep the opinions of others from clouding your self esteem. All this said, assuming you're not a complete social fruit cake.
 

threeforfree

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She’s used to people falling all over her. Don’t put the pvssy on a pedestal, act like she’s one of the guys, give her some sh!t in a friendly way, but still give kino etc to let her know you’re interested. Of course you’re interested, you’re talking to her. You just don’t want to look thirsty and desperate. Give off the vibe that if it goes well, great… if not, oh well.
 

RangerMIke

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Be selfish. Never do anything without reciprocity. You don't have to the a d1ck about it, just don't let people uses you.

Be honest, never lie. Again, you don't have to be a d1ck but when you lie, you are trying to give others a positive impression of you... that comes off as trying to be liked.

Stick to your values... You don't have to be stubborn, but if someone is trying to change your mind about something, make them work for it. Women do this sh1t to men in early dating all the time... A dude will state his opinion on something: the chick takes the opposite position, and the dude (because he is trying to be liked) will change his mind.

It's not that you are not trying to be liked, only that you respect yourself, your values, and your time.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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when I talk to a girl, how can I give the impression that I am not trying to be liked or accepted?
my answer: by actually not trying to be liked or accepted (I dont believe in fake it philosophy)
so the question is, how can stop trying to be liked or accepted? how can I become a guy who is not trying to be liked or accepted?
My answer: by actually not trying to be liked or accepted.

See what I did there?
 

espanish

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I'm not sure where this philosophy arises from. Most people in life are trying to be liked, whether they are consciously doing it or not. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's a pillar of most social interaction and nothing to be ashamed of. Being cool calm and collected only gets us so far.
What is more important is being a genuine person, but being as independent as possible. And in particular, independent of outcome.
Work out what you are genuinely interested in and engage with like minded people in the appropriate context. Being genuine and authentic will be much easier, and get you much further than trying to give off some obscure social impression. More important still to engage with some introspection, and understand what you as a person are like and reflect on how people react to you. Still, remain independent to keep the opinions of others from clouding your self esteem. All this said, assuming you're not a complete social fruit cake.
we are on the same page. you said it's important to be a genuine person. that's why I said I don't want to fake it and I want to actually be the guy that's not trying to be liked or accepted.
 

Stanley

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learn to not care about others preconceived notions and judgments of you. Become more secure in yourself and more self assured.
 

Murk

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Say things the person won’t like, be honest, if you disagree say so, double down on your views and values. Let it be known exactly the kind of girl you’re looking for, she’s likely not it.
 

pranshu

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The girl I had oneitis on told me that," never will all people like you and its okay..The worlds sexiest man( zayn malik, hritik roshan,etc) do you think they got 100% of votes of women in that survey? NO..You have great potential don't waste it over me"..
THESE words opened my eyes and I got out of oneitis. Once you understand this and ACCEPT this, you won't bother yourself about such thoughts..
she wasn't interested in me but she never ever used me or my affection for her personal gain. Not even for free attention, keeping orbiters kind. I m not attracted to her but I am truly grateful to her..
 

BackInTheGame78

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By ending the conversation first and walking away. Get the number and then be like "Cool...well it was nice talking to you, I'll hit you up sometime".

Most guys stand around talking and blabbing like an idiot.
 

RazorRambo24

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Women are like little kids -- you tease them and joke around with them.. never really taking them seriously, while understanding that you still have to show them respect to keep them around.

I have a friend who barely breaks a smile or a laugh with people.. He's just cool and laidback.. Never really reactive, doesn't speak too much.. and I'v ehad chicks tell me that when he actually smiled or laughed at something they said, it would make them feel so good and validated..

You gotta know how to hand out validation to women.. Simps have the issue of over validating women before women give them anything at all.. let alone a smile or a compliment. Us cool dudes we give women as little as possible.. but theres a fine line between them wondering if u like them and them feeling unappreciated overall.. That's why you gotta give them attention first alot of it.. the most concentrated form is sexual attention. then you just reel back and just be stoic , handing out attention sparingly. It's game 101
 

BadBoy89

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Why do you want to be liked or accepted by a Women? Your goal should be to have sex with a woman as fast as possible, not to be liked by her.

”Like” doesn’t get you anything except feeling good. It’s Beta
‘Being accepted” doesn’t get you anything expect feeling good. It’s Beta.
”Sex“ is real though. It‘s Alpha.

All a woman cares about is what a man can do for her. It’s up to a man to figure out what that is and get it for her, and use it to his advantage. Very simple.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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Troll them for fun
I have a friend who, good heartedly, enjoys doing this exact thing. Back in the day, whenever girls would ask him what he did for a living, his go to response was "flip burgers". When a lot of guys would either lie or exagerate what they did for a living in order to try to raise their status, he would do the opposite. He found it very amusing to see women be baffled at his proudness of "flipping burgers" for a living. Then it would turn into a game because they wouldn't believe him and try to get him to tell them what he really did but he usually wouldn't budge. Taking notes from him, I've done similiar things. If I was with my friends and there was a set of girls near by, I'd sometimes go up to them and say: "I saw you girls looking over this way but don't bother, we're all gay." They usually wouldn't believe it and try to prove me wrong.... and voila, there you go.
 
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