Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How to get from 20 years old virgin to successful DonJuan?

Good Gao

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I am going to tell you something you don't want to hear OP but will thank me tremendously for in the future. Now granted you are in Spain so the culture is likely different there but here is what I would recommend for your specific situation.

Forget investing time into "game" and pickup stuff, get your life sorted out first.

You are 20 years old and live with your parents, while this might be normal in Spain, it is a turnoff to most women when a guy is not independent. Even at your age, a lot of guys are away at college living with others their age. You still live with your parents right now, get that resolved ASAP. Maybe get a roommate situation in town or see what you can do there but don't focus on "game" and "pickup" until you have your life sorted out.

I see guys living with their moms gaming women and putting in hours into pickup when they should be putting in the work to be independent, it is cringey and makes you want to slap them. Now I get in Spain it might be common but still, become independent of your parents fast!

You can use this time to get in good shape, build a good routine, find shortcuts for learning, and maybe find quality friendships on here or other online communities (vet carefully).

Work on making quality male friendships in your classes and activities.

Find friends who are guys and chill AF, a lot of guys your age who are chill will have access to cool women as well. DO NOT DO GAME in those circles or any of that cheesy pickup ****. Heck, I'd even let a close enough friend you know in on the fact that you are not very experienced with women, high SMV and cool guys love helping a guy who is inexperienced. Whatever you do, do not do any of that Simple Pickup palm reading cheesy crap, it is social suicide. Ignore the PUA videos for good, ignore them, like let them burn to hell ignore them.

You will meet some women naturally, let it happen and focus on them, not on fantasies of being a Dan Bilzerian yet. You'll be shocked to find how many friendships you make at this age turn into fruition in the future.

Have a plan to not just leave your parents and town but also Spain.

Women have good stereotypes of Spaniard men abroad and to be frankly honest with you, you are wasting your time on the women in Spain. Many of them will treat you beneath a visitor from the Nordic countries when it comes to quick easy lays and tend to pass you up. Meanwhile, you can likely go to other countries and do really well as a Spaniard that looks good because once again, Spanish men are top tier when it comes to being desired by women.

Clean your mindset, please don't touch any bad communities out there.

Consume good material, generate a strong mindset, get in shape, get quality friends, and avoid toxic communities out there that just whine about looks and women being shallow all day. Your sanity WILL think you for it years down the road.

The funny thing about sex and women is when you least want them, you get them.

Have a plan for how you intend to be that playboy long-term.

Crawl then walk then run.

Looking good is one way but know where you will live and the lifestyle needed to be that guy, the money really adds up.
 

MessedUpLearner

Don Juan
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@Good Gao
Damn I really appreciate that feedback and I agree 100%.
I definitely have to move out and like you said, not only from my parents house but from Spain too.
I will keep you posted with future news.

Thanks a lot!
 

Ohso-Phresh

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Porn is poison.

The sooner you realize that the sooner you can use that creative energy for something creative. Get filtering software, make it difficult, every time you want to fap, go for a run or some other physical activity to change your state.

Porn is poison.
 

dr.harker

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To the OP

The way I killed porn addiction was to jerk off immediately the moment I wanted to look at porn, but do it without porn. Literally, first week can take you 20-30 mins to climax, even if you’re thinking about what you usually watch in porn.

Here’s the catch: when you climax you get some killer dopamine and oxytocin released in your brain as rewards. The moment you nut you won’t want to watch porn. And if you start telling yourself that porn is gross when you have dopamine and oxytocin freshly in your body, you re-wire your brain to hate porn.

It took about 1 month of doing this behavior, as a way to condition myself to hate porn. Now, the thought of watching porn makes me sick to my stomach.

I’ll still jerk off when I want to, but better to waste 5 quick minutes to get off then to waste hours watching porn.

Figure a way to reward yourself when you practice the new behaviors you wish to practice.

Keep at it bud.
 

YourGreatestFear

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Your problem is not porn. You can watch porn and still take action. The first thing you should do is to lose your virginity and stop glorifying sex. It isn't much better than masturbation, especially before you actually became good at it. If getting hookers is legal in your country then by all means just do it. Just pay for sex and see that it isn't as great as you think. You can **** a girl who is 9/10 in looks, it would cost you less than any PUA seminar. If you stop pedestalizing sex so much then getting it would be much simpler. If you think that porn and masturbation take away much of your motivation then you'd also need to know that the peak of your horniness would be at 2 weeks of NOFAP. After one month you, on the contrary, will see that your libido became weaker. Do you understand that there are many guys on nofap who still can't get laid, right? And an average guy still ****s girls even if he watches porn.
 

corrector

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  • Try not to talk too much with women about negative topics such as your job, TV and movies, your relationship with your family. If they ask you something, you can keep it short. Hell, say "I don't wanna talk about it" if you can't think of something better.
How is TV and movies a negative topic? If she likes the similar types of movies or TV shows that you do, then doesn't that mean you are compatible in this area? Suppose you have a good relationship with your family?
 

corrector

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So where should I focus myself? How do I finally quit porn and get some experience with women? How do I do that and still perfom well at tests and practices at the faculty? How can I be consistent and really focus at my goals such as lifting or studies?

I would really really appreciate if any of you could give me some feedback.

Thanks in advance!
Attend a Christian Youth or Yonge Adult group. Find a local church that has just re-opened and that has these type of groups, or plan on attending one when they re-open. This may or may not work for you, but it's still an idea and nobody else has raised it here.
 
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