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How to get from 20 years old virgin to successful DonJuan?

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Good Gao

Master Don Juan
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I am going to tell you something you don't want to hear OP but will thank me tremendously for in the future. Now granted you are in Spain so the culture is likely different there but here is what I would recommend for your specific situation.

Forget investing time into "game" and pickup stuff, get your life sorted out first.

You are 20 years old and live with your parents, while this might be normal in Spain, it is a turnoff to most women when a guy is not independent. Even at your age, a lot of guys are away at college living with others their age. You still live with your parents right now, get that resolved ASAP. Maybe get a roommate situation in town or see what you can do there but don't focus on "game" and "pickup" until you have your life sorted out.

I see guys living with their moms gaming women and putting in hours into pickup when they should be putting in the work to be independent, it is cringey and makes you want to slap them. Now I get in Spain it might be common but still, become independent of your parents fast!

You can use this time to get in good shape, build a good routine, find shortcuts for learning, and maybe find quality friendships on here or other online communities (vet carefully).

Work on making quality male friendships in your classes and activities.

Find friends who are guys and chill AF, a lot of guys your age who are chill will have access to cool women as well. DO NOT DO GAME in those circles or any of that cheesy pickup ****. Heck, I'd even let a close enough friend you know in on the fact that you are not very experienced with women, high SMV and cool guys love helping a guy who is inexperienced. Whatever you do, do not do any of that Simple Pickup palm reading cheesy crap, it is social suicide. Ignore the PUA videos for good, ignore them, like let them burn to hell ignore them.

You will meet some women naturally, let it happen and focus on them, not on fantasies of being a Dan Bilzerian yet. You'll be shocked to find how many friendships you make at this age turn into fruition in the future.

Have a plan to not just leave your parents and town but also Spain.

Women have good stereotypes of Spaniard men abroad and to be frankly honest with you, you are wasting your time on the women in Spain. Many of them will treat you beneath a visitor from the Nordic countries when it comes to quick easy lays and tend to pass you up. Meanwhile, you can likely go to other countries and do really well as a Spaniard that looks good because once again, Spanish men are top tier when it comes to being desired by women.

Clean your mindset, please don't touch any bad communities out there.

Consume good material, generate a strong mindset, get in shape, get quality friends, and avoid toxic communities out there that just whine about looks and women being shallow all day. Your sanity WILL think you for it years down the road.

The funny thing about sex and women is when you least want them, you get them.

Have a plan for how you intend to be that playboy long-term.

Crawl then walk then run.

Looking good is one way but know where you will live and the lifestyle needed to be that guy, the money really adds up.
 

MessedUpLearner

Don Juan
Joined
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Spain
@Good Gao
Damn I really appreciate that feedback and I agree 100%.
I definitely have to move out and like you said, not only from my parents house but from Spain too.
I will keep you posted with future news.

Thanks a lot!
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
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So where should I focus myself? How do I finally quit porn and get some experience with women?
If you ask me, this is the central issue you have interacting sexually with flesh and blood girls. Porn will never reject you, and you can always have a hot compliant girl...except that it isn't real. Some psychologists say your brain doesn't know the difference between masturbating to porn and actually bedding real life women, but those psychologists are probably chronic masturbators, themselves. Your brain definitely knows the difference, and it thinks you're a voyeur, a peeping Tom.

Think about it: 12,000 years ago, if a guy couldn't get a girl of his own, or was too shy to try, and thought no better of himself, he might sneak over to the tent of the biggest stud in his tribe, and peek through the flap, while he banged the hottest women in the tribe...pleasuring himself while he watched. THAT was the no-tech version of what you're doing, and your ego has consigned you to the status of a voyeur.

Like it or not, that's what's going on, and if you don't change your status from voyeur to player, you'll be retitling this thread "30 year old virgin," in a quick ten years.

I'm not trying to shame you. If I honestly believed masturbation and porn were the keys to happiness in life, I'd say so. They are NOT, and you already know that.

So, how do you stop? Well, I'm assuming these marathons are occurring in your bed, when you should be sleeping? The best way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit. Try working out for an hour before bedtime, each night. If you still aren't tired enough to sleep, start pounding melatonin and L-theanine before bed(after working out), and gradually taper down the dose to nothing. Also, take the TV, computer, laptop, tablet, and smartphone all out of your bedroom, and lock them in your car, family safe, give them to charity, or whatever, but get them out of your bedroom. Your bedroom is for recuperative sleep, not self-sabotaging self-indulgence.

Of course, simply abandoning voyeurism for a life as a monk isn't going to transform you into an instant babe magnet. You will want to actually start developing a social life, by talking to people...not just pretty girls...but them, too. Pay attention to how you dress, how you smell, how you carry yourself, when you walk and stand, how you hold your head, how your voice sounds when you speak, and the expression you make and words you choose, when you talk to people. If you've been holed up as a voyeuristic hermit for a while, jumping right into 'The D!ck Pierce Method of Pickup' may not be exactly where you want to begin your social life. Maybe, start with 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', and work your way up from there.

Maybe join a club...not the chess club(i actually like chess), the math club, or computer club, but something fun that girls like to do...like Tennis or Ski. Or Hockey, even, at least something in which the other members generally get laid.

That'll do for starters.
 

Ohso-Phresh

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Porn is poison.

The sooner you realize that the sooner you can use that creative energy for something creative. Get filtering software, make it difficult, every time you want to fap, go for a run or some other physical activity to change your state.

Porn is poison.
 
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dr.harker

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
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To the OP

The way I killed porn addiction was to jerk off immediately the moment I wanted to look at porn, but do it without porn. Literally, first week can take you 20-30 mins to climax, even if you’re thinking about what you usually watch in porn.

Here’s the catch: when you climax you get some killer dopamine and oxytocin released in your brain as rewards. The moment you nut you won’t want to watch porn. And if you start telling yourself that porn is gross when you have dopamine and oxytocin freshly in your body, you re-wire your brain to hate porn.

It took about 1 month of doing this behavior, as a way to condition myself to hate porn. Now, the thought of watching porn makes me sick to my stomach.

I’ll still jerk off when I want to, but better to waste 5 quick minutes to get off then to waste hours watching porn.

Figure a way to reward yourself when you practice the new behaviors you wish to practice.

Keep at it bud.
 
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