"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How to get ex back when she already think I've moved on?
- Thread starter Fela Kuti
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I don't know about asking her out at this point. I'm afraid she's not ready yet. Me too, actually. I'd like to take it slower. It's only 2 months since our breakup. 1 month of NC.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.DMEDFISIK said:
It's also possible that she thinks I've moved on after the NC and trying to save her pride by rarely contacting. And it's not like she NEVER initiates contact.Cheeks said:
Fela Kuti said:
DON'T have a talk with her. She broke up with you, so let her fix it.
Secondly, it's safer to bet she's doing this for attention than anything else. Stay on limited contact, and don't be too available either. If a woman wants you, you'll know without a doubt, especially considering your circumstances.
The thing is, I don't see her as a girl who would initiate something like that. She has too much pride, I think. And considering that I had the last word when I told her I'd go NC to move on, isn't the ball in my court now?DMEDFISIK said:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Love != pride. Love and pride can't coexist in this situation. A woman with this much pride is dangerous, assuming she really wants you back. You shouldn't want to be with this kind of chick in the first place. Let her take care of her unresolved pride issues with another guy. I have an ex like this, and there's no way I would get back with her with this kind of pride issue.Fela Kuti said:
Yeah, I'll try not contacting her for a while and see if she reciprocates.DMEDFISIK said:
Nah, it's not like I'm trying to be her friend or anything. I'm only doing this just because I sense she might be interested in getting back together.AlexDP said: