"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How to get ex back when she already think I've moved on?

Fela Kuti

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Just a short question. How to get an ex back when she already thinks I've moved on and not interested in her anymore so she acts indifferent where deep inside she still wants me? Thanks.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Chamber36

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call her and ask her on a date
 

Fela Kuti

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Indifferent might not be the right word. The real situation is, my ex rarely contacts me first but everytime I contact her, we always have nice, fun conversations and she's pretty enthusiastic, ie. creating new topics when the convo's dying. But it's almost always me who initiates contact, that's all.

I don't know about asking her out at this point. I'm afraid she's not ready yet. Me too, actually. I'd like to take it slower. It's only 2 months since our breakup. 1 month of NC.
 

Cheeks

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If she's not initiating contact, then she's the one who has moved on.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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DMEDFISIK

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Careful here. Girls live on attention and even if they want nothing to do with the attention giver. Who broke up with whom? If you were the dumpee, then don't initiate contact or ask for reconciliation. Let her be.
 

Fela Kuti

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DMEDFISIK said:
Careful here. Girls live on attention and even if they want nothing to do with the attention giver. Who broke up with whom? If you were the dumpee, then don't initiate contact or ask for reconciliation. Let her be.
I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.

Cheeks said:
If she's not initiating contact, then she's the one who has moved on.
It's also possible that she thinks I've moved on after the NC and trying to save her pride by rarely contacting. And it's not like she NEVER initiates contact.
 
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DMEDFISIK

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Fela Kuti said:
I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.



It's also possible that she thinks I've moved on after the NC and trying to protect her heart by not contacting.

DON'T have a talk with her. She broke up with you, so let her fix it.

Secondly, it's safer to bet she's doing this for attention than anything else. Stay on limited contact, and don't be too available either. If a woman wants you, you'll know without a doubt, especially considering your circumstances.
 

Fela Kuti

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DMEDFISIK said:
DON'T have a talk with her. She broke up with you, so let her fix it.

Secondly, it's safer to bet she's doing this for attention than anything else. Stay on limited contact, and don't be too available either. If a woman wants you, you'll know without a doubt, especially considering your circumstances.
The thing is, I don't see her as a girl who would initiate something like that. She has too much pride, I think. And considering that I had the last word when I told her I'd go NC to move on, isn't the ball in my court now?
 

AlexDP

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Fela Kuti said:
I was the dumpee and she said she wanted to remain friends with me. I said that would take time and I'd rather we not talk for some time. So I NC'd her but I could tell she was sad about this judging by her updates on social medias. Then I reinitiated contact, thinking maybe there's a chance she might reconsider her decision. Also because I missed her. So here we are, 3 weeks later and we've been having great convos on text/IM every 2 days or so, with a bit of flirty remarks from both sides. I also notice good signs like she wouldn't sign off the messenger before I do, reviving dying convos, etc. One thing that I need to know is if she does this because she only craves for attention or actually because she still has feelings for me. Do you think it's ok if we have a talk or something? I mean, she's not a girl I just met or something. We have some history.
Pretty great that you can still be friends with your ex. Very mature.

Oh wait.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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DMEDFISIK

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Fela Kuti said:
The thing is, I don't see her as a girl who would initiate something like that. She has too much pride, I think. And considering that I had the last word when I told her I'd go NC to move on, isn't the ball in my court now?
Love != pride. Love and pride can't coexist in this situation. A woman with this much pride is dangerous, assuming she really wants you back. You shouldn't want to be with this kind of chick in the first place. Let her take care of her unresolved pride issues with another guy. I have an ex like this, and there's no way I would get back with her with this kind of pride issue.
 

Fela Kuti

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DMEDFISIK said:
Love != pride. Love and pride can't coexist in this situation. A woman with this much pride is dangerous, assuming she really wants you back. You shouldn't want to be with this kind of chick in the first place. Let her take care of her unresolved pride issues with another guy. I have an ex like this, and there's no way I would get back with her with this kind of pride issue.
Yeah, I'll try not contacting her for a while and see if she reciprocates.

AlexDP said:
Pretty great that you can still be friends with your ex. Very mature.

Oh wait.
Nah, it's not like I'm trying to be her friend or anything. I'm only doing this just because I sense she might be interested in getting back together.
 

AlexDP

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Fela Kuti said:
Nah, it's not like I'm trying to be her friend or anything. I'm only doing this just because I sense she might be interested in getting back together.
You're now her friend. Don't you see this?
 

Fela Kuti

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AlexDP said:
You're now her friend. Don't you see this?
yes, probably. in the loose sense of the word. friends don't flirt do they? but I realize this can't continue if I still want her back.
 
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