how to explain the concept of "nice guy"?

[espanish]

when I tell people I am reading the book "no more mr. nice guy" they think I am going to turn into this mean, ruthless bastard

and I understand why, when I first heard about this book I thought the same thing, because here "nice" is misleading. People think here "nice" is the opposite of "mean"

I was trying to explain to someone what "nice" means but couldn't quite get my point across. I said "it's a guy who agrees with everything she says hoping she will like him"

How do you explain what a "nice guy" is in this context?

 

[Bokanovsky]

A "nice guy" is someone who tries to win the affection of women through supplicating behaviour.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Someone who goes against his best interest in order to be liked from people.

 

[MountainSlide]

A nice guy will let people treat him like a doormat. He doesn’t stand up for himself and perpetually fails shyt tests because of his overt weakness. Also typically passive aggressive and manipulative.

 

[cola]

That’s one of those books I wouldn’t even tell people I’m reading.

 

[backseatjuan]

What cola says.
Tell them no more mr. nice guy! Good book, read it, tell me what you think of it.
& while you at it https://bookofpook.com/
& dj bible https://www.sosuave.com/bible/bible.htm
& the rationale male https://1.droppdf.com/files/8Zupo/the-rational-male-tomassi-rollo.pdf
& alpha male strategies https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0it1cu-mt_IcvLTQ4CWcHw

 

[espanish]

That’s one of those books I wouldn’t even tell people I’m reading.

may I ask why? you find it embarrassing?

 

[wifehunter]

Nice guys are cowards.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A "nice guy" is someone who tries to win the affection of women through supplicating behaviour.

With the intention of using his "niceness" in exchange for sex and often times getting upset when it doesn't pan out for him.

 

[backseatjuan]

may I ask why? you find it embarrassing?

May I answer?

It's not about embarrasing. 80% of men out there are beta, and only 20% or so something close to that alpha. Within men you have 20% to get understood. Among women, google mesandria. You have almost no chance. Those who get are unicorns you should worship.

 

[Atom Smasher]

A nice guy's niceness is transactional in nature. He is generally despised because people can sense that he is trying to manipulate others by appearing nice and harmless.

@cola is correct... you shouldn't even talk about reading it with others, generally speaking. They cannot possibly have any true understanding of what you are learning and what you are trying to accomplish.

Truly actualized men tend to form themselves into nice guys without becoming "nice guys". That means there's a balance where the actualized man projects decency and friendliness, along with strength, self-respect and character. People (and especially women) can sense the difference between a nice, friendly but commanding man and a weak "nice guy".

The strong man's niceness is the respect and friendliness he extends by default to everyone out of politeness, sort of a "loan" until the person he's dealing with proves through words and/or actions that they are not qualified to receive his respect.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That’s one of those books I wouldn’t even tell people I’m reading.

You can't tell all the geniuses out in the world about any of this "self help" or "self care" or "life" stuff. Just talk about the weather and sports.

 

[Kotaix]

That’s one of those books I wouldn’t even tell people I’m reading.

This.

NEVER EVER bring up your weaknesses around women, EVER.

And only volunteer information like this to a man when he asks for your advice.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This.

NEVER EVER bring up your weaknesses around women, EVER.

And only volunteer information like this to a man when he asks for your advice.

It's even dangerous to do that. Most people have a propensity to sabotage others plans. You can take responsibility for doing it to yourself by talking about it.

 

[Kotaix]

It's even dangerous to do that. Most people have a propensity to sabotage others plans. You can take responsibility for doing it to yourself by talking about it.

But then you know who your friends are.

 

[backseatjuan]

Never reveal your plans. Always surprise people with the end results.

His last girlfriend said ahhh when they tried anal.

 

[backseatjuan]

then you are a try hard and lack frame.

Except sht on your dck if you don't communicate about anal.

Enema.

 

[backseatjuan]

It's just a "shyt" test. Out frame it. Be unreactive.

You trying to be alpha?

 

[backseatjuan]

There is no trying. There is only being.

Happyu new year man, 2020 here. 23:56
bag it!

 

[zekko]

A nice guy's niceness is transactional in nature. He is generally despised because people can sense that he is trying to manipulate others by appearing nice and harmless.

I've always hated the whole "nice guy" thing, because what you're describing, and how PUAs use the term, has absolutely nothing to do with actually being nice. Which you infer to later in your post. There's a nice guy, who is pleasant to be around, and kind and respectful to others unless he has a reason not to be. And there's the "Nice Guy" who is a doormat, manipulative, supplicating jerk. As the OP said, the way they use the word "nice" is misleading. There's actually nothing nice about them.

This is separate from the idea that men can be too passive and agreeable. That's a case where being genuinely nice can be unhelpful for a man. I started a thread on this not too long ago:

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/nice-guys.263872/