"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to escalate / not get friend-zoned

Grinderman

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@Sgthaytham apologies your thread got derailed and locked my man!

@Sgthaytham Said "A girl I know rested her legs on my lap and let me stroke them and the underside of of her thighs.

We ended up sleeping together on a sofa but nothing happened.

Is this the friendzoned?"


What tips would you give to the guy to escalate and not put himself in the friend-zone?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TheCharmingGuy

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Make your intentions VERY clear early on if there is any uncertainty. Asking if you can kiss them goodnight is a good way. It lets them know that you only want a romantic relationship. Other romantic advances, such as paying for the meal, always picking them up for dates, things like that. Also, always refer to when you go out as a “date”, not a “get together” or a “meetup”.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Sir FB

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My biggest tip. Get tons of pain and suffering from being repeatedly friend zoned so you’ll be willing to change. I was very afraid to escalate with women. I thought only a creep would just kiss a woman without asking. I thought she had to make the first, second and third move because I was a nice guy. The only way out is through. I’d suggest some of the rudimentary dating books by Robert Glover or Corey Wayne. Those guys broke it down for me as to what women want and what I was doing wrong. There’s also a bunch of good stuff in the dating tips here. I had a 5 plus year dry spell turn into six dates and three lays with different women within 90 days. You’ve got to go through the anxiety and escalate. The good news is once you do it, every successive attempt gets easier.
 

Sgthaytham

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My biggest tip. Get tons of pain and suffering from being repeatedly friend zoned so you’ll be willing to change. I was very afraid to escalate with women. I thought only a creep would just kiss a woman without asking. I thought she had to make the first, second and third move because I was a nice guy. The only way out is through. I’d suggest some of the rudimentary dating books by Robert Glover or Corey Wayne. Those guys broke it down for me as to what women want and what I was doing wrong. There’s also a bunch of good stuff in the dating tips here. I had a 5 plus year dry spell turn into six dates and three lays with different women within 90 days. You’ve got to go through the anxiety and escalate. The good news is once you do it, every successive attempt gets easier.
(This isn't directed towards you) But Corey Wayne is a ****ing fraud.
 

Sir FB

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(This isn't directed towards you) But Corey Wayne is a ****ing fraud.
Why do you say that? All these guys are trying to sell books, but it doesn’t make the information wrong.
 

Sgthaytham

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Why do you say that? All these guys are trying to sell books, but it doesn’t make the information wrong.
I don't want to go into detail about it, but I spent over €2000 for his help and guidance, followed his word to a T, and it's likely one of the greatest regrets I've had in my life so far.

Believe it, don't believe it, I don't care. He's a salesman, I fell for it.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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I don't want to go into detail about it, but I spent over €2000 for his help and guidance, followed his word to a T, and it's likely one of the greatest regrets I've had in my life so far.

Believe it, don't believe it, I don't care. He's a salesman, I fell for it.
Blame yourself.

I can take one look at that guys face and tell he's a pu$$y.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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