This is the first time I remember seeing him write on masculinity, and I've got to say it's great to see the DJ mindset expressed here. Constant reinforcement.
how to be a man
how to be a man
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
"How to be a Man" by Steve Pavlina
- Thread starter reset
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
Nice find, Reset. Thanks. 
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Yeah really great find reset.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
5. Express love actively.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the FIRST to say “I love you.”
Did you read that last line? Hm... I thought it was the other way around.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the FIRST to say “I love you.”
Did you read that last line? Hm... I thought it was the other way around.
You know that sort of rubbed me the wrong way too but that's like one percent of the story. The guy has been married for years, whatever. I can overlook it.
If a man actually lived by those principles and said I love you first, the chick would probably get wet. Because it comes from strength. If you were a DJ all around and never heard the "rules" and just naturally said that to a chick, meant it, and just by your presence, demonstrated that you're the prize, she would know it, you would know it, and I think you'd be ok with a party foul like that.
But no one here is going to know since we wouldn't say it first, lol.
Don't let that ONE PART cloud the message for you.
If a man actually lived by those principles and said I love you first, the chick would probably get wet. Because it comes from strength. If you were a DJ all around and never heard the "rules" and just naturally said that to a chick, meant it, and just by your presence, demonstrated that you're the prize, she would know it, you would know it, and I think you'd be ok with a party foul like that.
But no one here is going to know since we wouldn't say it first, lol.
Don't let that ONE PART cloud the message for you.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
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- Sep 20, 2007
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Although it may appear anti-DJ, the author is correct.Connect4 said:
It does not matter who says "I love u" or "I miss u" first. What do you walk around with your heart on your sleeve?
Men do not fear Women, nor do they fear Expressing their Emotions.
If you feel it, State it.
If you are a Don Juan, you do not need to protect your heart nor do you need to push/pull or follow rules. Be GENUINE and yourself. You are first priority ALWAYS and if things should not work out, no Biggie.
After all, being a Don Juan means you are a Man of Abundance. This means to Express your State, in whichever way you choose. If the girl takes you for GRANTED, Next!
If you hold the correct CONTEXT and are willing to walk away if this Context is compromised, you are free to Act, Say or Do whatever you Desire.
Remember, real Don Juans do not follow a rule book. They just are.
Most Men get roasted and learn the wrong lesson. They hold back, clam up and create so many Rules motivated by Fear of Loss; they CRIPPLE their future relationships.
If one was to learn only the Rule of Abundance, every motive, thought, decision and action will be delivered like a true Don Juan. It is most important to NEVER sell yourself short with a mind of scarcity.
Those who are Abundant, understand.
redspicyflag
Master Don Juan
Nice
I was about to post this, but you beat me to it
I was about to post this, but you beat me to it
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You think the article is interesting, check out the discussion about the article:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/18050-how-man-blog.html
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/18050-how-man-blog.html
heheh yeah that post is awesome :rockon:sam3083 said:
I'm split in my opinion with Steve Pavlina. On the one hand, he's pretty counterculture and commands in me some massive respect. On the other, some of his stuff is really a bit... gay.
He must have picked up on the psychic ripples of that thought because lo and behold, he comes out with this article about being a man that's so spot-on I have to readjust my opinion of him again! What a guy.
When it comes to the final battle between the forces of good and evil, this one's mine.