This is the first time I remember seeing him write on masculinity, and I've got to say it's great to see the DJ mindset expressed here. Constant reinforcement.
how to be a man
how to be a man
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
"How to be a Man" by Steve Pavlina
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
Nice find, Reset. Thanks. 
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Yeah really great find reset.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
5. Express love actively.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the FIRST to say “I love you.”
Did you read that last line? Hm... I thought it was the other way around.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the FIRST to say “I love you.”
Did you read that last line? Hm... I thought it was the other way around.
You know that sort of rubbed me the wrong way too but that's like one percent of the story. The guy has been married for years, whatever. I can overlook it.
If a man actually lived by those principles and said I love you first, the chick would probably get wet. Because it comes from strength. If you were a DJ all around and never heard the "rules" and just naturally said that to a chick, meant it, and just by your presence, demonstrated that you're the prize, she would know it, you would know it, and I think you'd be ok with a party foul like that.
But no one here is going to know since we wouldn't say it first, lol.
Don't let that ONE PART cloud the message for you.
If a man actually lived by those principles and said I love you first, the chick would probably get wet. Because it comes from strength. If you were a DJ all around and never heard the "rules" and just naturally said that to a chick, meant it, and just by your presence, demonstrated that you're the prize, she would know it, you would know it, and I think you'd be ok with a party foul like that.
But no one here is going to know since we wouldn't say it first, lol.
Don't let that ONE PART cloud the message for you.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
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Although it may appear anti-DJ, the author is correct.Connect4 said:
It does not matter who says "I love u" or "I miss u" first. What do you walk around with your heart on your sleeve?
Men do not fear Women, nor do they fear Expressing their Emotions.
If you feel it, State it.
If you are a Don Juan, you do not need to protect your heart nor do you need to push/pull or follow rules. Be GENUINE and yourself. You are first priority ALWAYS and if things should not work out, no Biggie.
After all, being a Don Juan means you are a Man of Abundance. This means to Express your State, in whichever way you choose. If the girl takes you for GRANTED, Next!
If you hold the correct CONTEXT and are willing to walk away if this Context is compromised, you are free to Act, Say or Do whatever you Desire.
Remember, real Don Juans do not follow a rule book. They just are.
Most Men get roasted and learn the wrong lesson. They hold back, clam up and create so many Rules motivated by Fear of Loss; they CRIPPLE their future relationships.
If one was to learn only the Rule of Abundance, every motive, thought, decision and action will be delivered like a true Don Juan. It is most important to NEVER sell yourself short with a mind of scarcity.
Those who are Abundant, understand.
redspicyflag
Master Don Juan
Nice
I was about to post this, but you beat me to it
I was about to post this, but you beat me to it
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You think the article is interesting, check out the discussion about the article:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/18050-how-man-blog.html
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/18050-how-man-blog.html
heheh yeah that post is awesome :rockon:sam3083 said:
I'm split in my opinion with Steve Pavlina. On the one hand, he's pretty counterculture and commands in me some massive respect. On the other, some of his stuff is really a bit... gay.
He must have picked up on the psychic ripples of that thought because lo and behold, he comes out with this article about being a man that's so spot-on I have to readjust my opinion of him again! What a guy.
When it comes to the final battle between the forces of good and evil, this one's mine.