This is the first time I remember seeing him write on masculinity, and I've got to say it's great to see the DJ mindset expressed here. Constant reinforcement.
how to be a man
how to be a man
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
"How to be a Man" by Steve Pavlina
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- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
Nice find, Reset. Thanks. 
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Yeah really great find reset.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
5. Express love actively.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the FIRST to say “I love you.”
Did you read that last line? Hm... I thought it was the other way around.
A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the FIRST to say “I love you.”
Did you read that last line? Hm... I thought it was the other way around.
You know that sort of rubbed me the wrong way too but that's like one percent of the story. The guy has been married for years, whatever. I can overlook it.
If a man actually lived by those principles and said I love you first, the chick would probably get wet. Because it comes from strength. If you were a DJ all around and never heard the "rules" and just naturally said that to a chick, meant it, and just by your presence, demonstrated that you're the prize, she would know it, you would know it, and I think you'd be ok with a party foul like that.
But no one here is going to know since we wouldn't say it first, lol.
Don't let that ONE PART cloud the message for you.
If a man actually lived by those principles and said I love you first, the chick would probably get wet. Because it comes from strength. If you were a DJ all around and never heard the "rules" and just naturally said that to a chick, meant it, and just by your presence, demonstrated that you're the prize, she would know it, you would know it, and I think you'd be ok with a party foul like that.
But no one here is going to know since we wouldn't say it first, lol.
Don't let that ONE PART cloud the message for you.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
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Although it may appear anti-DJ, the author is correct.Connect4 said:
It does not matter who says "I love u" or "I miss u" first. What do you walk around with your heart on your sleeve?
Men do not fear Women, nor do they fear Expressing their Emotions.
If you feel it, State it.
If you are a Don Juan, you do not need to protect your heart nor do you need to push/pull or follow rules. Be GENUINE and yourself. You are first priority ALWAYS and if things should not work out, no Biggie.
After all, being a Don Juan means you are a Man of Abundance. This means to Express your State, in whichever way you choose. If the girl takes you for GRANTED, Next!
If you hold the correct CONTEXT and are willing to walk away if this Context is compromised, you are free to Act, Say or Do whatever you Desire.
Remember, real Don Juans do not follow a rule book. They just are.
Most Men get roasted and learn the wrong lesson. They hold back, clam up and create so many Rules motivated by Fear of Loss; they CRIPPLE their future relationships.
If one was to learn only the Rule of Abundance, every motive, thought, decision and action will be delivered like a true Don Juan. It is most important to NEVER sell yourself short with a mind of scarcity.
Those who are Abundant, understand.
redspicyflag
Master Don Juan
Nice
I was about to post this, but you beat me to it
I was about to post this, but you beat me to it
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You think the article is interesting, check out the discussion about the article:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/18050-how-man-blog.html
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/steve-pavlina/18050-how-man-blog.html
heheh yeah that post is awesome :rockon:sam3083 said:
I'm split in my opinion with Steve Pavlina. On the one hand, he's pretty counterculture and commands in me some massive respect. On the other, some of his stuff is really a bit... gay.
He must have picked up on the psychic ripples of that thought because lo and behold, he comes out with this article about being a man that's so spot-on I have to readjust my opinion of him again! What a guy.
When it comes to the final battle between the forces of good and evil, this one's mine.