weakepedea
Don Juan
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- Nov 16, 2007
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How do you prevent this w/o being seen as a jerk?
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Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.Existential said:You set the parameters of the relationship from the beginning. It's not that you don't care about her feelings, it's that your worldview is that you are not a counselor. Do you care about her? Yes. Are you being paid an hourly wage to counsel? No. MAKE HER 100% ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE SITUATION SHE IS CURRENTLY SAD ABOUT. Don't do is crudely, and don't do it as, "well, you'd be better off with me." Your frame should be, "Well, what did you expect?" Similar to as if you were explaing, "two plus two."
Now, obviously, if you girlfriend youself at the beginning and then LATER try to withdrawal she's going to see it as jerk like behavior. Nonetheless, this slow leveraging of value is one of the best ways to get OUT of the friend zone in the first place.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Haha, I wouldn't handle it that way and I don't think it's exactly optimal in a theoretical sense. But, if it gets you results, more power to you. Lol.JackPrescott said:I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.
Yeah, I wouldn't do that either.JackPrescott said:I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.
What would you do, stay up till 4am listening to her sob over what an a$$hole he is, because he had anal sex with her younger sister?PrinceBeavis said:Yeah, I wouldn't do that either.
lol that's aggressive but not totally bad advice. People forget how messed up women can be too. Sometimes you have bring yourself above and that means cutting ties with messed up girls.JackPrescott said:I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
If she doesnt want to go to bed with me, I could care less if she is insecure.Birdem said:Set the rules early at the very beginning. If you start to hear her talking about her bull**** problems on the first date I would just forget about a second date because she got problems that are beyond you. Another option I would use would like cut her off and say you have to go, she will get the point that you aren't there to be her girlfriend. Jack that would be nice advice if you want someone to be insecure.