weakepedea
Don Juan
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- Nov 16, 2007
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How do you prevent this w/o being seen as a jerk?
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She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.Existential said:You set the parameters of the relationship from the beginning. It's not that you don't care about her feelings, it's that your worldview is that you are not a counselor. Do you care about her? Yes. Are you being paid an hourly wage to counsel? No. MAKE HER 100% ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE SITUATION SHE IS CURRENTLY SAD ABOUT. Don't do is crudely, and don't do it as, "well, you'd be better off with me." Your frame should be, "Well, what did you expect?" Similar to as if you were explaing, "two plus two."
Now, obviously, if you girlfriend youself at the beginning and then LATER try to withdrawal she's going to see it as jerk like behavior. Nonetheless, this slow leveraging of value is one of the best ways to get OUT of the friend zone in the first place.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Haha, I wouldn't handle it that way and I don't think it's exactly optimal in a theoretical sense. But, if it gets you results, more power to you. Lol.JackPrescott said:I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.
Yeah, I wouldn't do that either.JackPrescott said:I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.
What would you do, stay up till 4am listening to her sob over what an a$$hole he is, because he had anal sex with her younger sister?PrinceBeavis said:Yeah, I wouldn't do that either.
lol that's aggressive but not totally bad advice. People forget how messed up women can be too. Sometimes you have bring yourself above and that means cutting ties with messed up girls.JackPrescott said:I usually, and rudely, cut them off, and start insulting the fu*ck out of the male in question, bringing up such issues as penis size, and manhood, and his ability to streetfight, and then slandering her for being stupid enough to fall for his lines, when he was not as good in the sack as myself. Then I offer myself as a sexual release, for healing purposes. If she refuses, I hang up, or leave her at the restaurant/bar, with the tab.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
If she doesnt want to go to bed with me, I could care less if she is insecure.Birdem said:Set the rules early at the very beginning. If you start to hear her talking about her bull**** problems on the first date I would just forget about a second date because she got problems that are beyond you. Another option I would use would like cut her off and say you have to go, she will get the point that you aren't there to be her girlfriend. Jack that would be nice advice if you want someone to be insecure.