"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How she looks at sex

L

Leporello

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Lately, i've noticed a real difference between how my gf and I view sex. I think of it as.. sex, something amazing. She seems to consider it more like getting a massage or eating Godiva chocolates; that is, something to clear out the problems of the day and make yourself feel good, but nothing earth-shattering.

Naturally, this has led to self-doubt and whatnot. Is this normal? Is this something I ought to be concerned about, or is it nothing?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Leporello

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Not all of us are insensitive pricks.

And anyway, the better it is for her, the more I can ask her to do.
 
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DrDope

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Some people are wired differently.

I've found that liberal people have a more relaxed, take-it-or-leave-it attitude toward sex. They like it, but it's just one pleasurable thing and it doesn't come with all the psychological extras that others get with sex. So they can't understand why more conservative people are so uptight about sex and want to put restrictions on things like pornography, gay marriage, etc... If it feels good, then what's the big deal?

More conservative people are much more uptight about sex and with good reason. Along with sex comes issues of control, power, lust domination, original sin and every other messed up thing in the human psyche. No wonder they want to put restrictions on sexual behavior...you would too. Conservative people are actually fifty times hornier than everyone else, contrary to popular belief. Even the horniest dog liberal like Jack Kennedy couldn't keep up with someone who was wired more conservatively.

I bet you're a more conservative guy, which is why sex to you is the culmination of the physical, the psychological, the emotional and the spiritual. Your girl just isn't wired that way. To her it's fine, but it's just sex.

So go find some sexually repressed lady and she'll be a wildcat. She'll be trying to suck the pants off of you.
 
Rollo Tomassi

Rollo Tomassi

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Originally posted by Leporello
...,the better it is for her, the more I can ask her to do.
Click to expand...
So, sex is negotiation for you then? Do you see something inherently wrong with a statement like this? You're happy to make it good for her without condition, yet you feel the need to 'ask' her to do things for you? She has (and recognizes she has) the power in your relationship.

You shouldn't have to 'ask' her for anything sexually, she should have the same drive you have to give unconditionally and with passion and desire for you. Anything less is not an equitable arangement and not ideal. Move on.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Leporello

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Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
So, sex is negotiation for you then? Do you see something inherently wrong with a statement like this? You're happy to make it good for her without condition, yet you feel the need to 'ask' her to do things for you? She has (and recognizes she has) the power in your relationship.

You shouldn't have to 'ask' her for anything sexually, she should have the same drive you have to give unconditionally and with passion and desire for you. Anything less is not an equitable arangement and not ideal. Move on.
Click to expand...
A poor choice of words. What I should've said was 'the better it is for her, the more inclined she'll be to try new things'.

That's all I meant.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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