"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How she looks at sex

L

Leporello

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Lately, i've noticed a real difference between how my gf and I view sex. I think of it as.. sex, something amazing. She seems to consider it more like getting a massage or eating Godiva chocolates; that is, something to clear out the problems of the day and make yourself feel good, but nothing earth-shattering.

Naturally, this has led to self-doubt and whatnot. Is this normal? Is this something I ought to be concerned about, or is it nothing?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L

Leporello

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Not all of us are insensitive pricks.

And anyway, the better it is for her, the more I can ask her to do.
 
D

DrDope

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Some people are wired differently.

I've found that liberal people have a more relaxed, take-it-or-leave-it attitude toward sex. They like it, but it's just one pleasurable thing and it doesn't come with all the psychological extras that others get with sex. So they can't understand why more conservative people are so uptight about sex and want to put restrictions on things like pornography, gay marriage, etc... If it feels good, then what's the big deal?

More conservative people are much more uptight about sex and with good reason. Along with sex comes issues of control, power, lust domination, original sin and every other messed up thing in the human psyche. No wonder they want to put restrictions on sexual behavior...you would too. Conservative people are actually fifty times hornier than everyone else, contrary to popular belief. Even the horniest dog liberal like Jack Kennedy couldn't keep up with someone who was wired more conservatively.

I bet you're a more conservative guy, which is why sex to you is the culmination of the physical, the psychological, the emotional and the spiritual. Your girl just isn't wired that way. To her it's fine, but it's just sex.

So go find some sexually repressed lady and she'll be a wildcat. She'll be trying to suck the pants off of you.
 
Rollo Tomassi

Rollo Tomassi

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Originally posted by Leporello
...,the better it is for her, the more I can ask her to do.
Click to expand...
So, sex is negotiation for you then? Do you see something inherently wrong with a statement like this? You're happy to make it good for her without condition, yet you feel the need to 'ask' her to do things for you? She has (and recognizes she has) the power in your relationship.

You shouldn't have to 'ask' her for anything sexually, she should have the same drive you have to give unconditionally and with passion and desire for you. Anything less is not an equitable arangement and not ideal. Move on.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

L

Leporello

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
So, sex is negotiation for you then? Do you see something inherently wrong with a statement like this? You're happy to make it good for her without condition, yet you feel the need to 'ask' her to do things for you? She has (and recognizes she has) the power in your relationship.

You shouldn't have to 'ask' her for anything sexually, she should have the same drive you have to give unconditionally and with passion and desire for you. Anything less is not an equitable arangement and not ideal. Move on.
Click to expand...
A poor choice of words. What I should've said was 'the better it is for her, the more inclined she'll be to try new things'.

That's all I meant.
 
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