"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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How much does nervousness matter do you guys think?

IamtheAlphamale

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How much do you guys think showing any nervousness matters when asking a girl out? Lets say shes a 10 but very interested. Lets say you just sound a bit nervous.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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confidentguy

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if youre a bit nervous and she likes you, you might get away with it, if youre very nervous its probably a turn off.
 

frisco

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If you show constant nervousness, then the girl will become uncomfortable and leave but if you show your slightly nervous but overcome it quickly then its nothing you cant recover from.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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KJB

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Nervousness can be a really big deal. Self confidence, as has been mentioned over and over again, is key. Nervousness shows a lack of self confidence, it can totally screw you.
Someone mentioned a little nervousness is okay if you show you overcome it, I agree with that from experience. No matter what I do I always show a little bit of it when I first meet a really HB. If you come into your own though and relax you can beat it.
But still, its one of those things you should try to kill.
 

Thomas94305

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A different slant.... Don't become really nervous over being a little nervous (huh?). Sometimes we'll approach a sarge, say something "wrong", get too nervous and eject. I've noticed that when I say the wrong thing, and experience the associated nervousness.. but then just let it pass like a normal occurance, I can regain my frame quite well, and continue the sarge.

If you're just "slightly" nervous, it's no big deal. She may not even notice it. Being around her a little will help that nervousness to pass. We've all seen this, it's the initial approach anxiety. We have that little bit of nervousness, and it passes, and the conversation, etc go FINE.

However, extreme nervousness can queer the deal. Would depend on the individual.. That's one of the problems with these DJ rules, there's no rules, only guidelines. If you keep your voice steady, keep good posture, don't sweat or be fidgity, I'd say YOUR FINE.

In any event, what you need to do here is the same. If you're not that nervous, approach, continue it. If you are nervous.. approach, continue it, that will help you get comfortable around women. So.. either way.. approach.
 

Zwitterion

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why don't you go find this out for yourself instead of getting subjective responses
 

NFC

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It depends on the girl.. and a number of variables. Some girls think it's cute.. some girls find it as a weakness and lack of confidence.. some girls don't really care because you meet the physical standards.. for some girls it might make or break you.

Just approach a lot.. sooner or later it wont become as scary and there will be no nervousness.
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Yeah a little bit of nervousness can actually be a good thing - I try to reframe it and tell myself I'm just excited. I think that's from David DeAngelo.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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