"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How much does nervousness matter do you guys think?

IamtheAlphamale

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How much do you guys think showing any nervousness matters when asking a girl out? Lets say shes a 10 but very interested. Lets say you just sound a bit nervous.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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confidentguy

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if youre a bit nervous and she likes you, you might get away with it, if youre very nervous its probably a turn off.
 

frisco

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If you show constant nervousness, then the girl will become uncomfortable and leave but if you show your slightly nervous but overcome it quickly then its nothing you cant recover from.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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KJB

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Nervousness can be a really big deal. Self confidence, as has been mentioned over and over again, is key. Nervousness shows a lack of self confidence, it can totally screw you.
Someone mentioned a little nervousness is okay if you show you overcome it, I agree with that from experience. No matter what I do I always show a little bit of it when I first meet a really HB. If you come into your own though and relax you can beat it.
But still, its one of those things you should try to kill.
 

Thomas94305

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A different slant.... Don't become really nervous over being a little nervous (huh?). Sometimes we'll approach a sarge, say something "wrong", get too nervous and eject. I've noticed that when I say the wrong thing, and experience the associated nervousness.. but then just let it pass like a normal occurance, I can regain my frame quite well, and continue the sarge.

If you're just "slightly" nervous, it's no big deal. She may not even notice it. Being around her a little will help that nervousness to pass. We've all seen this, it's the initial approach anxiety. We have that little bit of nervousness, and it passes, and the conversation, etc go FINE.

However, extreme nervousness can queer the deal. Would depend on the individual.. That's one of the problems with these DJ rules, there's no rules, only guidelines. If you keep your voice steady, keep good posture, don't sweat or be fidgity, I'd say YOUR FINE.

In any event, what you need to do here is the same. If you're not that nervous, approach, continue it. If you are nervous.. approach, continue it, that will help you get comfortable around women. So.. either way.. approach.
 

Zwitterion

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why don't you go find this out for yourself instead of getting subjective responses
 

NFC

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It depends on the girl.. and a number of variables. Some girls think it's cute.. some girls find it as a weakness and lack of confidence.. some girls don't really care because you meet the physical standards.. for some girls it might make or break you.

Just approach a lot.. sooner or later it wont become as scary and there will be no nervousness.
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Yeah a little bit of nervousness can actually be a good thing - I try to reframe it and tell myself I'm just excited. I think that's from David DeAngelo.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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