IamtheAlphamale
Master Don Juan
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How much do you guys think showing any nervousness matters when asking a girl out? Lets say shes a 10 but very interested. Lets say you just sound a bit nervous.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
How much does nervousness matter do you guys think?
- Thread starter IamtheAlphamale
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
confidentguy
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if youre a bit nervous and she likes you, you might get away with it, if youre very nervous its probably a turn off.
Kev07
Master Don Juan
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nervousness in the right amount is a good thing, you don't want to appear like you pick up women for a living.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Nervousness can be a really big deal. Self confidence, as has been mentioned over and over again, is key. Nervousness shows a lack of self confidence, it can totally screw you.
Someone mentioned a little nervousness is okay if you show you overcome it, I agree with that from experience. No matter what I do I always show a little bit of it when I first meet a really HB. If you come into your own though and relax you can beat it.
But still, its one of those things you should try to kill.
Someone mentioned a little nervousness is okay if you show you overcome it, I agree with that from experience. No matter what I do I always show a little bit of it when I first meet a really HB. If you come into your own though and relax you can beat it.
But still, its one of those things you should try to kill.
Thomas94305
Senior Don Juan
A different slant.... Don't become really nervous over being a little nervous (huh?). Sometimes we'll approach a sarge, say something "wrong", get too nervous and eject. I've noticed that when I say the wrong thing, and experience the associated nervousness.. but then just let it pass like a normal occurance, I can regain my frame quite well, and continue the sarge.
If you're just "slightly" nervous, it's no big deal. She may not even notice it. Being around her a little will help that nervousness to pass. We've all seen this, it's the initial approach anxiety. We have that little bit of nervousness, and it passes, and the conversation, etc go FINE.
However, extreme nervousness can queer the deal. Would depend on the individual.. That's one of the problems with these DJ rules, there's no rules, only guidelines. If you keep your voice steady, keep good posture, don't sweat or be fidgity, I'd say YOUR FINE.
In any event, what you need to do here is the same. If you're not that nervous, approach, continue it. If you are nervous.. approach, continue it, that will help you get comfortable around women. So.. either way.. approach.
If you're just "slightly" nervous, it's no big deal. She may not even notice it. Being around her a little will help that nervousness to pass. We've all seen this, it's the initial approach anxiety. We have that little bit of nervousness, and it passes, and the conversation, etc go FINE.
However, extreme nervousness can queer the deal. Would depend on the individual.. That's one of the problems with these DJ rules, there's no rules, only guidelines. If you keep your voice steady, keep good posture, don't sweat or be fidgity, I'd say YOUR FINE.
In any event, what you need to do here is the same. If you're not that nervous, approach, continue it. If you are nervous.. approach, continue it, that will help you get comfortable around women. So.. either way.. approach.
Zwitterion
Don Juan
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why don't you go find this out for yourself instead of getting subjective responses
It depends on the girl.. and a number of variables. Some girls think it's cute.. some girls find it as a weakness and lack of confidence.. some girls don't really care because you meet the physical standards.. for some girls it might make or break you.
Just approach a lot.. sooner or later it wont become as scary and there will be no nervousness.
Just approach a lot.. sooner or later it wont become as scary and there will be no nervousness.
Mind_Body_Soul
Senior Don Juan
Yeah a little bit of nervousness can actually be a good thing - I try to reframe it and tell myself I'm just excited. I think that's from David DeAngelo.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.