freshstartin2008
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2008
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
- 0
Wow, a THIRD of the forum hasn't gotten laid yet?!? I better stop asking for advice and GIVING it instead!
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I think you're right. There is a bit of a glut of younger guys on here at the moment, including myself. I don't expect this to change for at least 6 more months - then a lot of good shiz will happen for me. I become an adult (how can you Americans not be allowed to drink till 21? How does your clubbing work?), I'll be entering a quite large university with few people I know (but the two I do is my best female friend and her bf, who is a fairly good mate and could be made into a decent wing), and I'll be a medic.Maxtro said:There is a huge difference between being a virgin at 16-18 than being a virgin at 30.
I would say that 90% of guys that lost their virginity did it between 16 and 20 or in High School or college.
I'm betting that most of the 30% who voted virgin are in High School or college and there is nothing wrong with that.
I do think that nobody should be a virgin at 25 unless they absolutely refuse to have sex. If they want to have sex and haven't had an opportunity and are 25 years old, something went wrong and they should just get hooker to correct life's mistake.
I lost my virginity to a hooker when I was 23 and within 6 months I had sex with two additional women that I met through unconventional means with women that I would normally not even consider. If I didn't go for the hooker I would never have had those experiences.
Maxtro said:I do think that nobody should be a virgin at 25 unless they absolutely refuse to have sex. If they want to have sex and haven't had an opportunity and are 25 years old, something went wrong and they should just get hooker to correct life's mistake.
One of the reasons that Americans don't drink until 21 is the problem of drunk driving. If 18 year old's could drink, the number of drunk driving incidents would skyrocket. I think the system is fine the way it is.Hughman said:I think you're right. There is a bit of a glut of younger guys on here at the moment, including myself. I don't expect this to change for at least 6 more months - then a lot of good shiz will happen for me. I become an adult (how can you Americans not be allowed to drink till 21? How does your clubbing work?), I'll be entering a quite large university with few people I know (but the two I do is my best female friend and her bf, who is a fairly good mate and could be made into a decent wing), and I'll be a medic.![]()
Eh, not quite. Robbing a bank is a felony. Getting a hooker is a victimless crime (I don't want to get into a topic about the sex trade and stuff.)DonJuan11 said:Fair enough. Analogy being if you want to be rich and haven't had the opportunity and you are 25 years old or older, something went wrong and you should just rob a bank to correct life's mistake.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Damn your culture has issues. To be fair though, alot of swanky bars and VIP clubs (typically gentleman's abodes [no, not strip clubs, proper old-school, cigar and whisky type places], and those that play jazz) have a 21+ policy.Maxtro said:One of the reasons that Americans don't drink until 21 is the problem of drunk driving. If 18 year old's could drink, the number of drunk driving incidents would skyrocket. I think the system is fine the way it is.
We have two types of clubs. 18+ and 21+. The 18+ clubs have a bar and they check your ID if you want a drink. The 21+ clubs simply don't let in anybody under 21.
That statement makes no sense. If drastic measures should be taken if somebody is 25 or older and hasn't had sex, then drastic measures should be taken if somebody is 25 or older and hasn't gone rock climbing, drank Coke, drove a car, watched a hockey game, had brunch, listened to music, been traveling, gone to school, etc, etc, etc.Maxtro said:My whole point is that if somebody is 25 or older and still a virgin, drastic measures should be taken. I don't really advocate hookers anymore but something has to be done, because leaving it up to fate is obviously not working.
And that is where you are wrong.That statement makes no sense. If drastic measures should be taken if somebody is 25 or older and hasn't had sex, then drastic measures should be taken if somebody is 25 or older and hasn't gone rock climbing, drank Coke, drove a car, watched a hockey game, had brunch, listened to music, been traveling, gone to school, etc, etc, etc.
You can't limit your thinking to sex because you want to. When you do that, then logic falls out the window in every other aspect or category in life.
This statement can be applied to anything in life. Listing other activities has everything to do with it.
This statement can be applied to anything in life. Listing other activities has everything to do with it.Maxtro said:My whole point is if somebody wants to have sex and they haven't had it by 25. It means that something went wrong. If they want sex they need to do something different.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.