"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How long to wait?

A

ARrocket

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Alright, I met this girl at a tennis program last summer. I think she was interested, but stupidly, I never got her #, and the program ended. I suddenly thought about her the other day, and I found her on facebook. I asked her if she remembered me, and she said yes, and asked if I was going to do the program again.

I sent back some C&F message and asked her a genuine question as well. Now then...I plan on asking for her # soon, but do you think I should send a few messages back and forth before doing so? And then, once I get the #, should I call and set up a date right away (basically, there is hardly any rapport between us due to the fact that I haven't spoken to her in 10 months or so) or should I speak on the phone a few times with her first? Don't wanna fall into LJBF land here...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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J

Jeffst1980

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This is tough. 10 months is a LONGGGG time, and you can be sure she didn't spend those 10 months pining over you. When I was younger, any time I got out of a relationship I would immediately contact all the HB's that had expressed interest in me at some point...man, that was a waste of time!
Girls FORGET how attracted they were to you pretty quick when you're not seeing them in face to face interactions. Your best bet is to run into her in person (maybe take the tennis program with her again?) and get the # then.

Never ask if a girl remembers you in a situation like this--if you're gonna insist on passive aggressive facebook-ing, I would send her an initial short C&F message and gauge her response...if it's formal or not particularly flirty, there's a good chance this one has forgot about you or is involved with someone else.

The number is an unnecessary step at this point. Just ask her to come with you on a fun outing on facebook if the rapport is good. She knows what's up....and asking for a # without giving a reason is pretty silly on facebook.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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A

ARrocket

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Great response, thanks :)

I've been messaging back and forth with her...been pretty C&F and she seems to be going with it, but I'm kinda running out of things to say lol. I don't wanna talk too much through facebook, so I guess I will ask a few questions then ask her to hang out next weekend (because I'll tell her I'm busy this weekend...which I am).
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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