"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How long is your first date usually?

ilikeburritos

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I'm gonna be taking this girl to a bar for a few drinks tomorrow night. Is there a general minimum or maximum time I want to limit myself to? I couldn't imagine staying longer than an hour, that seems way too long...even if conversation is still flowing. What amount of time do you generally try to shoot for before walking her home or bringing her back to your place?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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wjh

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1 to 2 hours MAX for me - ASSUMING things are great and she's interesting.

At a bar, after a few drinks, and depending on whether or not I will be F-Closing, an hour is fine.

There are a lot of factors, rapport for example, and whether or not it's been established through some other interaction prior to the first date.
 
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My last date was almost 2 hours over 2 drinks and I kiss closed, and she has agreed to meet me again this weekend. The 2 hours felt like 30 minutes and I think that's a great sign.

I think I could have F-Closed if we lived close to each other.
 

DonJuan11

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ilikeburritos said:
I'm gonna be taking this girl to a bar for a few drinks tomorrow night. Is there a general minimum or maximum time I want to limit myself to? I couldn't imagine staying longer than an hour, that seems way too long...even if conversation is still flowing. What amount of time do you generally try to shoot for before walking her home or bringing her back to your place?
Don't stay longer than 93 minutes.
 

ilikeburritos

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Don't stay longer than 93 minutes.
are you sure? I usually hear 89 minutes max but just wanted to check

PS it doesn't even matter as I just found out I was given a decoy phone number
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Effington

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ilikeburritos said:
are you sure? I usually hear 89 minutes max but just wanted to check

PS it doesn't even matter as I just found out I was given a decoy phone number
I have found that 94.5 minutes is actually the key. Book it.
 

theunflushables

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You got to be careful with bars though. I met a "friend", and I say "friend" because thats what she is, but there is more to our relationship, we just cant act upon that because of the situation she is in. Anyways, I asked if she wanted to grab a drink to make her night at work a little more bearable. And I meant a drink. It ended up being 3 each and split fish and chips. She paid though so all is good. :D
 
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