"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do you select your target?

speakeasy

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When you decide to approach, do you carefully take the girl's "approachability" into factor?

On one end, a girl with a high approachability will be a girl that is not moving, alone, not looking angry, perhaps even looking bored. Say a girl sitting at a bar by herself looking bored. Doesn't get more approachable than that.

On the other extreme, a girl who is walking fast, looks hurried or pre-occupied, is staring at the ground, especially if she's accompanied.
she's very unapproachable.

When you decide to approach, where is your comfort level? Does the girl have to look approachable, or will you spit game under any circumstance?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Comeback Kid

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I'm not a pro here, but I do have some thoughts on this. The first thing I take into account, "does this girl attract me?" If a girl is very approachable but you're not attracted to her, then what's the point? Second, yes - approachability is important. Look for body language (something I can actually improve on), if she looks your way, does she maintain eye contact or immediately look away? Is she facing you or away from you? Is she with a group of friends or alone? Is she hanging around or walking quickly away?

If she's attractive in my eyes and the green light is on, I go in for the approach. The goal is to be confident + composed, have a smile (look like you're having fun), and know a few things to say to get the ball rolling. I generally won't go after a girl at a party who I see is in the middle of a group of friends or is giving off negative signs since the outcome is less likely to go in your favor. Parties don't last forever, so no need to waste time.
 

oakraiderz2

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Its like when lions hunt, pick the weakest looking one that will satisfy your hungry. Haha, thats what i used to do. And sometimes i would just say random sh*t to any decent looking girl.
 

speakeasy

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Captain said:
If she's attractive, I approach. That's all.

If she's busy, or in a hurry, I still give it a shot, since there's nothing to lose.
What's your rate of success with girls who are in not approachable mode?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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