"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do you quickly assess whether someone is “healthy”

jhonny9546

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How do you assess whether someone is “healthy”?


I’m not talking about dating them, being friends with them, or spending extended time together. This applies to both men and women.
I mean being able to tell, either instantly or after a brief interaction, if someone is not a healthy presence.


What are the top 3 red flags that tell you this person isn't a healthy one?


Here are mine:

For men:
  1. He doesn’t take care of his body, not in terms of style or fashion, but functionally. He doesn’t train, exercise, or follow any kind of balanced diet.
  2. He gossips or constantly talks badly about others.
  3. He devotes all his time to work, or his life is overly dominated by his job, with no real balance.
For women:
  1. She doesn’t take care of her body, not from a cosmetic or clothing standpoint, but in terms of physical health, exercise, and diet.
  2. She is overly dramatic or constantly complains.
  3. She spends all her time working or is excessively work-centered, lacking balance in life.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

The Duke

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Red Flags:

-Anxiety
-Can't have a balanced conversation.
-Negative attitude.
-Neglect self care.
-History of drug/alcohol abuse.
-Job Hoppers.
-Heavy social media use.
-Lack of balance with career/hobbies/social activities.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

BillyPilgrim

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If they keep a comfortable silence in your presence, just chilling and without getting anxious, insecure or trying to one-up you (establish a higher status). If they attempt to uplift others around them, not use them or bring them down in any way.
 

Oatmeal31

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How do you assess whether someone is “healthy”?


I’m not talking about dating them, being friends with them, or spending extended time together. This applies to both men and women.
I mean being able to tell, either instantly or after a brief interaction, if someone is not a healthy presence.


What are the top 3 red flags that tell you this person isn't a healthy one?


Here are mine:

For men:
  1. He doesn’t take care of his body, not in terms of style or fashion, but functionally. He doesn’t train, exercise, or follow any kind of balanced diet.
  2. He gossips or constantly talks badly about others.
  3. He devotes all his time to work, or his life is overly dominated by his job, with no real balance.
For women:
  1. She doesn’t take care of her body, not from a cosmetic or clothing standpoint, but in terms of physical health, exercise, and diet.
  2. She is overly dramatic or constantly complains.
  3. She spends all her time working or is excessively work-centered, lacking balance in life.
Gossip
Doesn't reciprocate in conversation
Any show of unfriendliness
Actions not matching words
Inconsiderate of others with words/actions
Heavy social media use
 

Travel memoir21

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Gossip
Doesn't reciprocate in conversation
Any show of unfriendliness
Actions not matching words
Inconsiderate of others with words/actions
Heavy social media use
That sounds like 90% of the Population right now...Everyone is basically gossiping their lives away with Social media and the Political Climate right now. I admit I'm not Perfect, I'm a little bit of those things you described above sometimes. But I have A Spiritual practice that I do that reminds me to be considerate of others and to give back to charity or a cause when I can. All of us should strive for some kind of Improvement, be it in our personal or professional lives or increasing in the 'kindness factor',
 

Oatmeal31

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That sounds like 90% of the Population right now...Everyone is basically gossiping their lives away with Social media and the Political Climate right now. I admit I'm not Perfect, I'm a little bit of those things you described above sometimes. But I have A Spiritual practice that I do that reminds me to be considerate of others and to give back to charity or a cause when I can. All of us should strive for some kind of Improvement, be it in our personal or professional lives or increasing in the 'kindness factor',
If you gossip in your spare time and put others down, you are a sh!t person to me, period. Always two sides to a story
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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jhonny9546

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If someone can enjoy a comfortable silence around you—just relaxing without getting anxious, insecure, or trying to assert dominance (establish higher status). If they try to lift up the people around them instead of using or putting them down.

This perfectly describes some of my own qualities (as I mentioned in this thread: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/you-make-me-feel-relaxed.284038/)


Red flags:


  • Anxiety
  • Inability to have a balanced conversation
  • Negative attitude
  • Neglecting self-care
  • History of drug/alcohol abuse
  • Job hopping
  • Heavy social media use
  • Lack of balance between career, hobbies, and social life

For me, anxiety is one of the top red flags.


But what about job hoppers? In today’s world, that’s actually a common way to build a career and increase your income.
 

BaronOfHair

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If they're Uigyhur, and you're an enlisted man in The Red Army, inspecting the ol' entrails ought to suffice. Just be prepared to put all that bayonet training you endured back in boot camp to use
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Travel memoir21

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Grooming/ addiction/ friends.
Grooming - I take care of myself Hygienically every night. Addiction- I'm slightly addicted to the internet and Social media but not AFC content such as simping over girls but Men topics like this site, Red Pill archive and the Art of Manliness blogs....I'm also on several Veterans groups on Facebook, Friends- I live a solitary lifestyle for the most part but I keep myself grounded by my spiritual activities I do every day, talking to my parents hotel staff everyday and texting different people on the other side of the world. Addiction- I'm as sober as it gets.
 

eli77

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Lack of eye contact exercise and no friends female or other wise
 

Travel memoir21

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Lack of eye contact exercise and no friends female or other wise

lots of gay guys would fit this description then, I highly doubt a lot of them are psychologically healthy upstairs. I mean to be humble here, I’m barely getting by as a diagnosed Schizophrenic but I cope by my spirituality, exercise, meds, nature- sunlight and support groups such as this one and going to therapy at The Veteran’s affairs clinic near me.
 

eli77

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lots of gay guys would fit this description then, I highly doubt a lot of them are psychologically healthy upstairs. I mean to be humble here, I’m barely getting by as a diagnosed Schizophrenic but I cope by my spirituality, exercise, meds, nature- sunlight and support groups such as this one and going to therapy at The Veteran’s affairs clinic near me.
Do you have any VA friends?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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