"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How do you quickly assess whether someone is “healthy”

jhonny9546

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How do you assess whether someone is “healthy”?


I’m not talking about dating them, being friends with them, or spending extended time together. This applies to both men and women.
I mean being able to tell, either instantly or after a brief interaction, if someone is not a healthy presence.


What are the top 3 red flags that tell you this person isn't a healthy one?


Here are mine:

For men:
  1. He doesn’t take care of his body, not in terms of style or fashion, but functionally. He doesn’t train, exercise, or follow any kind of balanced diet.
  2. He gossips or constantly talks badly about others.
  3. He devotes all his time to work, or his life is overly dominated by his job, with no real balance.
For women:
  1. She doesn’t take care of her body, not from a cosmetic or clothing standpoint, but in terms of physical health, exercise, and diet.
  2. She is overly dramatic or constantly complains.
  3. She spends all her time working or is excessively work-centered, lacking balance in life.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The Duke

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Red Flags:

-Anxiety
-Can't have a balanced conversation.
-Negative attitude.
-Neglect self care.
-History of drug/alcohol abuse.
-Job Hoppers.
-Heavy social media use.
-Lack of balance with career/hobbies/social activities.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BillyPilgrim

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If they keep a comfortable silence in your presence, just chilling and without getting anxious, insecure or trying to one-up you (establish a higher status). If they attempt to uplift others around them, not use them or bring them down in any way.
 

Oatmeal31

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How do you assess whether someone is “healthy”?


I’m not talking about dating them, being friends with them, or spending extended time together. This applies to both men and women.
I mean being able to tell, either instantly or after a brief interaction, if someone is not a healthy presence.


What are the top 3 red flags that tell you this person isn't a healthy one?


Here are mine:

For men:
  1. He doesn’t take care of his body, not in terms of style or fashion, but functionally. He doesn’t train, exercise, or follow any kind of balanced diet.
  2. He gossips or constantly talks badly about others.
  3. He devotes all his time to work, or his life is overly dominated by his job, with no real balance.
For women:
  1. She doesn’t take care of her body, not from a cosmetic or clothing standpoint, but in terms of physical health, exercise, and diet.
  2. She is overly dramatic or constantly complains.
  3. She spends all her time working or is excessively work-centered, lacking balance in life.
Gossip
Doesn't reciprocate in conversation
Any show of unfriendliness
Actions not matching words
Inconsiderate of others with words/actions
Heavy social media use
 

Travel memoir21

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Gossip
Doesn't reciprocate in conversation
Any show of unfriendliness
Actions not matching words
Inconsiderate of others with words/actions
Heavy social media use
That sounds like 90% of the Population right now...Everyone is basically gossiping their lives away with Social media and the Political Climate right now. I admit I'm not Perfect, I'm a little bit of those things you described above sometimes. But I have A Spiritual practice that I do that reminds me to be considerate of others and to give back to charity or a cause when I can. All of us should strive for some kind of Improvement, be it in our personal or professional lives or increasing in the 'kindness factor',
 

Oatmeal31

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That sounds like 90% of the Population right now...Everyone is basically gossiping their lives away with Social media and the Political Climate right now. I admit I'm not Perfect, I'm a little bit of those things you described above sometimes. But I have A Spiritual practice that I do that reminds me to be considerate of others and to give back to charity or a cause when I can. All of us should strive for some kind of Improvement, be it in our personal or professional lives or increasing in the 'kindness factor',
If you gossip in your spare time and put others down, you are a sh!t person to me, period. Always two sides to a story
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jhonny9546

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If someone can enjoy a comfortable silence around you—just relaxing without getting anxious, insecure, or trying to assert dominance (establish higher status). If they try to lift up the people around them instead of using or putting them down.

This perfectly describes some of my own qualities (as I mentioned in this thread: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/you-make-me-feel-relaxed.284038/)


Red flags:


  • Anxiety
  • Inability to have a balanced conversation
  • Negative attitude
  • Neglecting self-care
  • History of drug/alcohol abuse
  • Job hopping
  • Heavy social media use
  • Lack of balance between career, hobbies, and social life

For me, anxiety is one of the top red flags.


But what about job hoppers? In today’s world, that’s actually a common way to build a career and increase your income.
 

BaronOfHair

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If they're Uigyhur, and you're an enlisted man in The Red Army, inspecting the ol' entrails ought to suffice. Just be prepared to put all that bayonet training you endured back in boot camp to use
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Travel memoir21

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Grooming/ addiction/ friends.
Grooming - I take care of myself Hygienically every night. Addiction- I'm slightly addicted to the internet and Social media but not AFC content such as simping over girls but Men topics like this site, Red Pill archive and the Art of Manliness blogs....I'm also on several Veterans groups on Facebook, Friends- I live a solitary lifestyle for the most part but I keep myself grounded by my spiritual activities I do every day, talking to my parents hotel staff everyday and texting different people on the other side of the world. Addiction- I'm as sober as it gets.
 

eli77

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Lack of eye contact exercise and no friends female or other wise
 

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
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Lack of eye contact exercise and no friends female or other wise

lots of gay guys would fit this description then, I highly doubt a lot of them are psychologically healthy upstairs. I mean to be humble here, I’m barely getting by as a diagnosed Schizophrenic but I cope by my spirituality, exercise, meds, nature- sunlight and support groups such as this one and going to therapy at The Veteran’s affairs clinic near me.
 

eli77

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lots of gay guys would fit this description then, I highly doubt a lot of them are psychologically healthy upstairs. I mean to be humble here, I’m barely getting by as a diagnosed Schizophrenic but I cope by my spirituality, exercise, meds, nature- sunlight and support groups such as this one and going to therapy at The Veteran’s affairs clinic near me.
Do you have any VA friends?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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