Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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how do you present/project/image?

Heretolearn

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Hey guys,

Was thinking about how you present/project/your image and energy you send out to others.

Someone commented that I have a big barrier around me lol. What do you guys think you do/have?

What can I do to improve my approachability :)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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jophil28

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Heretolearn said:
Someone commented that I have a big barrier around me lol. What do you guys think you do/have?


:)
Was the commentator a woman ?
 

Heretolearn

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often get the you seem so stand offish and serious but nice and funny once you get to know me lol
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jophil28

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Heretolearn said:
Yes a couple of ladies independently of each other lol.
Their comment is one of those "nudges" that woman say for 'who knows whatever' reason.. Much like "are you gay" or "you look aloof" ...
Women open their mouth and words just fall out - do not alter yourself in any way just because some random women sprouted some mildly provocative stuff.

What other people think of you has little to do with you.

Chuck it over your shoulder and move on.
 

slaog

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Heretolearn said:
Hey guys,

Was thinking about how you present/project/your image and energy you send out to others.

Someone commented that I have a big barrier around me lol. What do you guys think you do/have?

What can I do to improve my approachability :)
Barrier = closed body language. Arms crossed etc and not making eye contact. Do you feel uncomfortable around people?


I've 2 tips:
1- (short term)Try improving your body language. This can be done quickly and make you seem more friendly and approachable.
2- (long term)Develop a DJ mindset. Think yourself as the prize etc.
 
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