Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
heres what that is. her and her boyfriend have been doing it the same way for years/months. shes bored and wants to change it up but he just wants to bang and take a nap afterwards. she wont leave him but she needs excitement in her life, heres where you come in. she can get her own rocks off simply by using you to fuel that fire she has. now, she doesnt want to have sex with you, because she doesnt want to "cheat"(even though in my book going out to lunch with you, texting you, etc would be enough for me to tell her to fvck off). anyways if she had this animal attraction for YOU, you would have already banged her. shes interested in how you make her feel, not interested in YOU or your penis. this is a new game im encountering too. before long youll get the anti-slut text where she feels bad for what shes done and wont talk to you anymore "because its not right" even though it was never right to begin with. she will just use this as an excuse after shes had her fun at your expense and then itll be back to the bf to patch things up(even though hes clueless about what shes been doing) and she will bake him cookies and continue to play house with him. meanwhile you sit their wondering what the hell happened and feeling like its your fault when its not.CJS said:I actually just ran into this situation for the first time last weekend, twice in one day too.
The second I work with at a bar, and is a solid 9+. Apparently she gets hit on so much that my indifference towards her was a turn on. We started texting, then she started asking me to hang out. We hung out a couple times and I kept getting stuck at the goal line. Clothes off, no sex. I figured she just wanted to wait, but then yesterday she told me how she had a serious bf, but she had an "animalistic attraction" towards me. We had lunch today, but it seemed more friendly then I get a text 2 min after we part ways talking about her "animal urges."
This has all happened within the past 5 days. Is this some sorta game I've never heard of? Not sure if I should stick with it, or give it up and save some dignity.
CJS said:Well said. I can already foresee that. I never took her serious or had any interest in her other than sex anyway.
Good call. I actually took the time to get to know her and now things are going pretty well. I don't think she ever actually had a bf. I think she just didn't take me serious. I haven't brought it up, and don't plan to since all is well thus far.Robert28 said:she knows, thats why you arent getting it
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.