Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Why are you still having problems with this?de-pedestalize a chick? any scale, any type, I know no one is perfect, I don't see chicks as that, but it has been a struggle for me.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Becuase before computers, geeks like you didn't sit all day playing warcraft or second life all day and watching porn to fulfill their horniness, they HAD to be social in order not to die from boredom.ItsOnNow said:Oh yes, insecurity is still a big problem for me. I am lacking some serious self confidence, that has been a big problem for me. I haven't even begun. I mean, the post on mall cold approaching, seeing myself do that seems tough. I mean, I need to learn how to do it without coming off as creepy, which is what I want to avoid. I basically cold approach people all day at my job, so you would think it would come natrually. I have been reading the materials on this site, and I seem to be lacking self confidence/esteem, charm, ****yness, I am not often a ****y person. One thing I have been asking is why do we even need this whole process? I mean, what happened in soceity to where we have this neg,tease,disqualify,ignore, etc? What ever happened to just dating and stuff? I really don't go out that often, and don't have much of a social life, which has been a problem as well.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Chances of what? getting laid? lmao. you're kidding right?ItsOnNow said:Well, that's it, I keep reading all this, and haven't really absorbed it in. I am clueless to alot. This is what's killed me, not having learned it all as everyone else did. I mean, If I go solo, does that hurt my chances more?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Everything with value in life is hard to get.ItsOnNow said:Inner game,disinterested,kino, all seems idk, hard. I mean, doesn't that only work if she already likes you, and you have to be a challenge and all that? As for "seeing myself as the prize", I am a rather modest person. Could that be affecting me? I don't have this strong sense of self worth and value as you say.
I want to read your FR. Do an approach. Make it happen. You got only 1 life to live. DONT WASTE IT.ItsOnNow said:Inner game,disinterested,kino, all seems idk, hard. I mean, doesn't that only work if she already likes you, and you have to be a challenge and all that? As for "seeing myself as the prize", I am a rather modest person. Could that be affecting me? I don't have this strong sense of self worth and value as you say.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.