That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Why are you still having problems with this?de-pedestalize a chick? any scale, any type, I know no one is perfect, I don't see chicks as that, but it has been a struggle for me.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Becuase before computers, geeks like you didn't sit all day playing warcraft or second life all day and watching porn to fulfill their horniness, they HAD to be social in order not to die from boredom.ItsOnNow said:Oh yes, insecurity is still a big problem for me. I am lacking some serious self confidence, that has been a big problem for me. I haven't even begun. I mean, the post on mall cold approaching, seeing myself do that seems tough. I mean, I need to learn how to do it without coming off as creepy, which is what I want to avoid. I basically cold approach people all day at my job, so you would think it would come natrually. I have been reading the materials on this site, and I seem to be lacking self confidence/esteem, charm, ****yness, I am not often a ****y person. One thing I have been asking is why do we even need this whole process? I mean, what happened in soceity to where we have this neg,tease,disqualify,ignore, etc? What ever happened to just dating and stuff? I really don't go out that often, and don't have much of a social life, which has been a problem as well.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Chances of what? getting laid? lmao. you're kidding right?ItsOnNow said:Well, that's it, I keep reading all this, and haven't really absorbed it in. I am clueless to alot. This is what's killed me, not having learned it all as everyone else did. I mean, If I go solo, does that hurt my chances more?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Everything with value in life is hard to get.ItsOnNow said:Inner game,disinterested,kino, all seems idk, hard. I mean, doesn't that only work if she already likes you, and you have to be a challenge and all that? As for "seeing myself as the prize", I am a rather modest person. Could that be affecting me? I don't have this strong sense of self worth and value as you say.
I want to read your FR. Do an approach. Make it happen. You got only 1 life to live. DONT WASTE IT.ItsOnNow said:Inner game,disinterested,kino, all seems idk, hard. I mean, doesn't that only work if she already likes you, and you have to be a challenge and all that? As for "seeing myself as the prize", I am a rather modest person. Could that be affecting me? I don't have this strong sense of self worth and value as you say.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.