How do y'all approach a random female?

Milfhunter95

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In the past, I've had real bad anxiety. To the point where I'd just get stuck and it know what to say (to attractive ladies). Ever since I started my job last year, I have gotten better. Way better.

I'm still a little shy (when idk you of course) and don't feel comfortable enough to just go up to random ladies. But, I've seen ladies check me out and smile at me, but really do not know how to approach them.

What are some of your techniques and a good way to overcome this shyness/anxiety?
 

wifehunter

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I just say "hi" in a welcoming tone. Things usually progress from there, or not.
 

wifehunter

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If that's the case then I'm good, just overthinking I guess.
Funny thing is...I learned this approach from a hb9 starbucks barista, who I am happy to be in the friendzone with, as she's married with kids.
 

cola

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If the goal is to get a phone # or date, generally you want to look for an
IOI. IOI is an indicator of interest

Its a subconscious physical reaction a female who finds you physically attractive would give.
(or male, males give IOIs to women too)

The most common IOIs to look for are:

The double take. Looks at you, when eyes meet looks away & then looks again.

Pruning. This means adjusting clothes, picking lint, putting on lip gloss. Etc

Staring at you.

Blushing.

Feet pointed at you.

So look for IOIs before approaching strangers for better results.
If you feel you never get IOIs then here's a few things you can do.

Start working out.

Always be well groomed. Never leave the house looking messy.

Hold your head extremely high when you walk. Shoulders back, slow, long & controlled strides.

Be trendy. They don't have to be designer, but your clothes should be neat(always take the 10 extra minutes to iron), well fitted, shoes should be clean.

Invest in 2 colognes. One for daily use, one for when you hit the town/special occasions
(I reccomend curve by Liz Claiborne, polo sport or polo black by Ralph Lauren or Drakkar Noir by guy laroche for daily use.
For night I reccomend Gucci by Gucci,
Issy Miyaki or Versace Eros)


Get a bold haircut. Something that can be still considered professional, yet makes a statement.

For some excellent fashion tips visit "Alpha M" on YouTube.
That white boy can dress his a** off. He got all types of swag in the clothes department.

I went into such detail because you are new here.
Feel free to reach out to me for any other dating, fitness or lifestyle questions or concerns.
 

Plums

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In the past, I've had real bad anxiety. To the point where I'd just get stuck and it know what to say (to attractive ladies). Ever since I started my job last year, I have gotten better. Way better.

I'm still a little shy (when idk you of course) and don't feel comfortable enough to just go up to random ladies. But, I've seen ladies check me out and smile at me, but really do not know how to approach them.

What are some of your techniques and a good way to overcome this shyness/anxiety?
Shyness in a man can be very endearing. It means a lot when you know a man is a bit shy and anxious and he has plucked up the courage to approach you. Just learn to laugh at yourself if you get tongue tied and turn it into a joke and then let it pass. Be honest. Tell her you are a bit nervous but you saw her and wanted to say hello.
It's a good test for the female personality for you. If she is dismissive and nasty to you, well you don't want anything to do with her anyway.
When you approach a woman that you like, keep your expectations small. Just tell yourself that you would like a hello from her, then move your expectations up to wanting a chat and so on. This will stop you over thinking too much which can result in overload and panic.
 

EmotionalGeek

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Also remember that you can not plan conversation ahead. You must surf on the edge of void in your head as someone put it. Some conversations will go easily some other won't even properly start. Some woman will just help you by offering her chatty behavior.
 
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Also remember that you can not plan conversation ahead. You must surf on the edge of void in your head as someone put it. Some conversations will go easily some other won't even properly start. Some woman will just help you by offering her chatty behavior.
Most conversations are pointless.

A person can have 100 trillion bits of information in their head, but only a few key points and personality traits to communicate in person.

I never understood how people can talk and talk and talk for hours.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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In the past, I've had real bad anxiety. To the point where I'd just get stuck and it know what to say (to attractive ladies). Ever since I started my job last year, I have gotten better. Way better.

I'm still a little shy (when idk you of course) and don't feel comfortable enough to just go up to random ladies. But, I've seen ladies check me out and smile at me, but really do not know how to approach them.

What are some of your techniques and a good way to overcome this shyness/anxiety?
Your general vibe and demeanor speaks volumes to a woman.

If you have a spring in your step, and a nonchalant charm about you, meeting women will take care of itself. There is no magic 'technique'.

I think education, friendships, the appreciation of art, and even a little religion, ironically, helps us in these matters. Because these improve our subjective conditions... there is not much we can do about the world, but we can do something about ourselves.
 

Reykhel

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What are some of your techniques and a good way to overcome this shyness/anxiety?
Learn to make small talk and banter with everyone, not only attractive women. this is partly what's causing your anxiety.

I just say "hi" in a welcoming tone. Things usually progress from there, or not.
Just saying "hi" to a random woman in the street and expecting things to progress from there? You stop women in the street and normally they
think you're selling them something or you want them to fill out a questionnaire (especially if you're confident and polished).....
just saying "hi" and standing there won't cut the mustard. this guy is deluded if he thinks that's the case....
Sorry, but you have to do a little bit of work here.

Shyness in a man can be very endearing. It means a lot when you know a man is a bit shy and anxious and he has plucked up the courage to approach you.
More anti-advice. A good example of why a man should never take dating advice from a woman. Confidence is key. Frame is key. Shyness my azz.

Most conversations are pointless.
This is why you are sexless.

I think education, friendships, the appreciation of art, and even a little religion, ironically, helps us in these matters. Because these improve our subjective conditions.
No random woman on the street gives a flying fvck about your opinion on art.

A woman's favorite subject is.......herself.
 

Reykhel

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So look for IOIs before approaching strangers for better results.
Women are generally too self-absorbed to be thinking of giving random men IOI's on the street. Sure, it happens every now and again. But a man approaches who he wants. He doesn't hide his balls and wait for an invitation. Better to simply approach when you see a woman that you wish to approach, rather than awkwardly waiting for one to throw you IOI's. Anyway, why would a random woman on the street throw you IOI's when you haven't even built any form of attraction....

this waiting on IOI's can cause men to hesitate and stay in their heads and it's an easy copout..."oh not approaching her, she didn't flick flint off her jacket" Just fvcking approach. A man grows through the process.

It's a good test for the female personality for you. If she is dismissive and nasty to you, well you don't want anything to do with her anyway.
This is also a copout and wishful thinking. Every woman is going to put up some sort of a shield to a stranger in the street. To turn around and say about someone that was dismissive of you "ah I don't want anything to do with her anyway" is simply to make yourself feel better and can often be delusional thinking.....
How strong is your frame is someone is a little dismissive of you is a better question....
Let's see if I can still get her to hook despite these ****e tests coming my way.........

The above "advice" from this female poster is what you might see in a COSMO article on how the average beta nerd may approach day game. What's even sadder is the two posters who endorse her COSMO "advice".
 

cola

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Has Drakkar come back? Damn I didn't know that. When I was younger girls LOVED that cologne.
Yes, I actually caught a bottle at Wal-Mart after the gym the other day for $20!
Apparently they sold the brand to a different company but it still smells really good for 20$ cologne.
 

cola

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Women are generally too self-absorbed to be thinking of giving random men IOI's on the street. Sure, it happens every now and again. But a man approaches who he wants. He doesn't hide his balls and wait for an invitation. Better to simply approach when you see a woman that you wish to approach, rather than awkwardly waiting for one to throw you IOI's. Anyway, why would a random woman on the street throw you IOI's when you haven't even built any form of attraction....

this waiting on IOI's can cause men to hesitate and stay in their heads and it's an easy copout..."oh not approaching her, she didn't flick flint off her jacket" Just fvcking approach. A man grows through the process.


This is also a copout and wishful thinking. Every woman is going to put up some sort of a shield to a stranger in the street. To turn around and say about someone that was dismissive of you "ah I don't want anything to do with her anyway" is simply to make yourself feel better and can often be delusional thinking.....
How strong is your frame is someone is a little dismissive of you is a better question....
Let's see if I can still get her to hook despite these ****e tests coming my way.........

The above "advice" from this female poster is what you might see in a COSMO article on how the average beta nerd may approach day game. What's even sadder is the two posters who endorse her COSMO "advice".
IOIs happen on a subconscious level, its not something they think about..
 

Plums

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Women are generally too self-absorbed to be thinking of giving random men IOI's on the street. Sure, it happens every now and again. But a man approaches who he wants. He doesn't hide his balls and wait for an invitation. Better to simply approach when you see a woman that you wish to approach, rather than awkwardly waiting for one to throw you IOI's. Anyway, why would a random woman on the street throw you IOI's when you haven't even built any form of attraction....

this waiting on IOI's can cause men to hesitate and stay in their heads and it's an easy copout..."oh not approaching her, she didn't flick flint off her jacket" Just fvcking approach. A man grows through the process.


This is also a copout and wishful thinking. Every woman is going to put up some sort of a shield to a stranger in the street. To turn around and say about someone that was dismissive of you "ah I don't want anything to do with her anyway" is simply to make yourself feel better and can often be delusional thinking.....
How strong is your frame is someone is a little dismissive of you is a better question....
Let's see if I can still get her to hook despite these ****e tests coming my way.........

The above "advice" from this female poster is what you might see in a COSMO article on how the average beta nerd may approach day game. What's even sadder is the two posters who endorse her COSMO "advice".
Stop allowing different point of view to castrate you. Grow a pair and allow differing points of view into your mind, you never know. You might learn something.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Approaching girls is not like riding a bike, where once you know how, it's easy from then on.

think of it more like conditioning, like being able to run a mile in under six minutes or something. I takes a while to be able to do it,and it takes consistent effort to keep doing it.

Start small, slow, and work your way up. Don't expect to ditch your anxiety by reading a post.

Eye contact

Eye contact and smile

Eye contact and approach and say hi

Eye contact and approach and short conversation

Eye contact and approach and short conversation and number close, etc.

See it like you would any other training regimen.
 

Reykhel

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Stop allowing different point of view to castrate you. Grow a pair and allow differing points of view into your mind, you never know. You might learn something.
So if we look at this comment logically and fairly, perhaps the poster could apply the same "helpful advice" to herself. Perhaps she
could accept difference points of views and learn to handle criticisms of her "advice" in a better way......you never know, she might
learn something....

Oh wait.....I'm trying to use logic to reason with it. It's going to be futile isn't it....

I tell you what, we'll give the logic route a go, in the name of fairness....

Go ahead then.......let's say, I'm open to learning from you......

What can you honestly "teach" me about day game?

Are you saying that you have more experience with regards to day gaming?

I'm all ears....

...........................................................................................................................................................

In my opinion, a woman cannot teach a man anything about day game......why? Simply put....she has no experience of being a man who day games.....she has never gone through the process as a man. She has never dealt with approach anxiety. She has never dealt with ****e tests from a woman while day gaming. She has never learned to hook a woman during a conversation while day game....

Of course she can offer her point of view from the woman's perspective. Right?

Fellas, would you take advice on how to fight from a kid who gets bullied? Why not? The kid knows about violence. He knows about
pain. He knows what it's like to receive knees to the ribs. He knows what it's like to receive upper cuts. He knows what it's like to receive devastating elbows.....
Surely he's in a really good position to teach you how to fight.........

Get out of here with that nonsense.
 

Reykhel

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What's truly sad is advice on how to be social coming from someone who spends the majority of their time on a forum just tearing people down.
Poor baby. What's sad is you allow a complete stranger on the internet to tear you down.

That's down on you and your weak azz frame.

One day you may even thank Reykhel for exposing all these holes in your fragile frame.

But then again, you'll probably just stay stuck.

You are encouraging this site to turn into loveshack.com........you know exactly what you are for that.

I would suggest you spend less time playing dolls with your daughter in her dollhouse. It's making you soft.

Away with you now.
 

Reykhel

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Feel the fear, and do it anyway.
exactly, just keep pushing through the discomfort until the uncomfortable becomes comfortable. Extending the
comfort zone is key. what we are seeing is a lot of ego protection in this thread. A lot of avoidance.

It's just like when you start a new job. Your level is at "apprentice", you cannot just expect to jump to "mastery" just like
that. In fact, I would say it's like a job where you have to deal with the public.....if anyone has experience of that, it can feel slightly weird
to now be the "customer", you are on the other side (say like bar work, event security), it feels unnatural at first.....maybe your voice is still very low..maybe you feel a little self conscious..then after maybe a few weeks when you have a few shifts under your belt, you start to feel more
comfortable......it's like you are starting to feel at home. You're voice is now more commanding, coming from the diaphragm................after a few months you've gone from feeling a little uneasy with the public to confident with the public.......a natural process.

I wouldn't worry about being nervous. Just accept it. I've found women to be very understanding of it, and they actually help you to make it a good interaction.
You're right. In fact, being a "little nervous" can actually come across as more natural. The worry is coming across too smooth. They are almost thinking "where are the cameras?" or "what's this guy selling"

The more smooth you get, the more dodgy it seems... because they get a player vibe from you. So, it's actually good to keep some of that nervous naive energy.
Ha just seeing that now. Read your thoughts.

Really can't understand the constant advice to only approach on IOI's at all.
Me neither. Personally, it would make me feel more awkward or something, if I were to "scan for IOI'S". It's not natural. And what about the woman that you spot across the street.....she didn't see you....how the fvck can she give you an IOI

Her fine azz in those tight jeans all the reason you need to approach. As far as I'm concerned her azz is giving me IOI's.

Prioritize your game over the woman herself.
Love the process more than the individual woman. Grow with the process.
 
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