She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This! I had a girl awhile back make plans with me only to flake the day we were supposed to go out. Then she turn around 2 hours before the time we had set to go out with a text about "We can still go out if you want to. I chickened out earlier." I was thinking "wtf are you 13 years old or something?". This girl was a 27 year old teacher acting like a complete child. Chickened out. wtf lady? I told her sorry I made plans to work late after you canceled on me. Then she proceeds to pretty much BEG me to take her @$$ out when I got off work. Ain't gonna happen. I'm not working 10 hours, rush home to take a shower and chance you changing your mind again. She then goes into the "well don't kick yourself later on, you had your chance!" Um, ok, you and that white horse you rode in on can both go to he!!. She did go out of her way to mention she had a date the next night. Wonder if she cancelled on that guy? Probably not. Oh well, screw em both. I stood my ground with this b!tch and wasn't about to lose my dignity to come running to her after she changes her mind. Have some pride fellas!skinnyguy said:High chance that if she does end up making plans with you, she'll flake.
If a girl flakes on me, I promptly delete her number. It should be a ONE strike rule. A girl will never flake if she is interested in you.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Yaap this.skinnyguy said:High chance that if she does end up making plans with you, she'll flake.
If a girl flakes on me, I promptly delete her number. It should be a ONE strike rule. A girl will never flake if she is interested in you.
Ok, so basically go ghost and when/if she says she's free for sure then great? She went from saying "maybe next weekend, I have to check my schedule" to "I should be free next weekend" after I said "ok, cool". Didn't reply to her second text. Just wait a week and see if she gets back to me with firm "I'm free" instead of asking again?nismo-4 said:We should amend the two strikes rule into a one strike rule. Women are playing more games than ever and as we all know, a woman who is interested in you will not confuse you, and will find a way to make a meeting with you happen!
I drop any woman who flakes on me once. A flake equals low to no interest and the women who flake on you typically know they're flaking. Using a celebrity maxim, it all makes sense. Why would a woman flake if she wants to see you, and run the risk of losing out on you?
There are those who will counteroffer, but those are few and far in between. If she goes ghost on you, drop her.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
This was an option, but I didn't want to seem butthurt since her excuse actually seemed legit.marmel75 said:I've found that dropping a hint while your talking/texting in the first few texts like "You are not one of those flaky women who makes plans and then doesn't follow through are you? I usually avoid them like the plague..." seems to help reduce them for me...
No, no...not after she gives you the excuse, literally in your first few texts before you ask her out...just as a playful kind of thing...teddy said:This was an option, but I didn't want to seem butthurt since her excuse actually seemed legit.
YES.teddy said:Just wait a week and see if she gets back to me with firm "I'm free" instead of asking again?
Will be difficult with my schedule. I basically only have the weekends free to do anything and not be tired for it. She works a similar schedule.hockeyfreak79 said:Chicks & guys have sh*t on weekends planned out in advance. Is this a first date meet-up?
Your probability is higher if you try going for a week day date with a new broad. Sun-Thurs with new chicks @ night. Make them earn Fri/Sat night dates when it becomes a guaranteed lay. Give it a try next time, be different every beta/chump is asking her out on Fri/Sat night.
If she can't do a week day date then you have your answer, low interest.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Relax. He just met her and asked her out for a weekend and she was busy. People post high school and college book get busy on weekends. She countered that she was free the following weekend. He may still be good, just has to wait and see. No need to be so rigid.pyros said:COME ON....she's just NOT INTERESTED dude.
if she was she wouldnt be that busy to start with! for god's shake, stop waisting your time trying to figure out why she's not available for you. SHE DOES NOT LIKE YOU.