How do I Hook Up with My FWB's Friend?

[foolyoufool]

Hey Guys, so I've been hooking up with chick (my FWB, let's call her R) but things have been cooling off recently. We were both going to the same music festival over the weekend, she texted me and we met up.

While I was hanging out with her, I met her friend, let's call her N, who was especially smiley when we were talking and overall gave me positive vibes. I didn't hook up or dance with S at all at the festival and left after chatting for about 10 minutes.

Scrolling through Instagram I easily found N's profile. She checks a lot of boxes for my "Ideal Woman" and I'd like to approach her romantically even if that ruins my relationship with R. I am under the impression that R and N are very good friends, and have been for a few years.

Right now I can follow her on Instagram and send her a DM to get a conversation started. But I'd like your advice for:

A. What to say
B. How to say it (is Instagram the right move?)
C. Am I being an idiot and this will probably blow up in my face?

I'm willing to give this a shot because even if R gets really pissed and never wants to see me again, things were cooling off with her anyway.

Looking forward to your opinions.

 

[marmel75]

Lmao...the ridiculous statement that she is your ideal woman when you haven't even gone on a date with her is absolute ridiculousness of the highest level.

You know nothing about her how could you possibly know she checks all the boxes?

This is the silliness people come up with in their own mind. Dude just stop. Go on a date with her first then if you have been seeing her regularly for 6 months then MAYBE you might be able to make the above statement with SOME level of certainty but probably not mor than 50/50 at that point.

 

[foolyoufool]

Lmao...the ridiculous statement that she is your ideal woman when you haven't even gone on a date with her is absolute ridiculousness of the highest level.

You know nothing about her how could you possibly know she checks all the boxes?

This is the silliness people come up with in their own mind. Dude just stop. Go on a date with her first then if you have been seeing her regularly for 6 months then MAYBE you might be able to make the above statement with SOME level of certainty but probably not mor than 50/50 at that point.

I don't think I explained myself correctly. She does not check ALL the boxes of my ideal girl, but she does check SOME of them (physically). Obviously I don't have any idea what she's really like, we've only spoken for a few minutes. I am just saying I am attracted to her and would like to pursue her. If it doesn't work out, no big deal.

Now do you have any advice regarding my original question, how to best pursue her?

 

[marmel75]

I don't think I explained myself correctly. She does not check ALL the boxes of my ideal girl, but she does check SOME of them (physically). Obviously I don't have any idea what she's really like, we've only spoken for a few minutes. I am just saying I am attracted to her and would like to pursue her. If it doesn't work out, no big deal.

Now do you have any advice regarding my original question, how to best pursue her?

Well this is somewhat tricky if you dont want to burn the bridge with your current FWB...

If you dont care then it is easy, you figure out a way to get in front of her in person again and then get her number even if the friend ia there. Thats bold as fvck but chicks respect that most dudes would not even think about doing that...could turn into a situation where they both fight over you if she is interested...

If you do care then you have to figure out a way to do the above eithout letting the FWB know what's up...maybe nonchalantly bring up the friend and be like "She looked like she was having a good time" or some dumb sh!t like that...you'd know better what to bring up I wasnt there...just in the course of normal convo...dont make it obvious you want to hook up with her.

I would not go the social media route that looks really creepy...like you are stalking her...

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Be like...

"Hey gurl what's you say I give you the D. We could try it once and see what happens"

If she's unsure, tell her you'll give her a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

 

[foolyoufool]

Well this is somewhat tricky if you dont want to burn the bridge with your current FWB...

If you dont care then it is easy, you figure out a way to get in front of her in person again and then get her number even if the friend ia there. Thats bold as fvck but chicks respect that most dudes would not even think about doing that...could turn into a situation where they both fight over you if she is interested...

If you do care then you have to figure out a way to do the above eithout letting the FWB know what's up...maybe nonchalantly bring up the friend and be like "She looked like she was having a good time" or some dumb sh!t like that...you'd know better what to bring up I wasnt there...just in the course of normal convo...dont make it obvious you want to hook up with her.

I would not go the social media route that looks really creepy...like you are stalking her...

I don't care about the FWB but the problem is I've never seen this friend group before. When me and R hang out it's always just me and her, so I'm not sure if I will ever get the chance to be in front of N again, unless by some random coincidence.

That's why I brought up the Instagram route, I can message N directly and totally bypass R. But if more people agree that it's a creepy way to go I'll hold off.

 

[foolyoufool]

Be like...

"Hey gurl what's you say I give you the D. We could try it once and see what happens"

If she's unsure, tell her you'll give her a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

You sir drive a hard bargain

 

[RichardTheFrog]

You sir drive a hard bargain

If she's still unsure after the Peanut Butter Cup, just say...

"How about I just touch your left booby?"

 

[foolyoufool]

If she's still unsure after the Peanut Butter Cup, just say...

"How about I just touch your left booby?"

How could she not be sure after the peanut butter cup? Don't be ridiculous

 

[Murk]

Social media seems like the only option then, as for what to say, this isn’t my realm so can’t help you much try, “hey, we met at X festival at the weekend, nice to meet you.” Then you can add to that with do you like that kind of music, who was your favourite set/band/whatever. Go a step further and check if any of them or that genre is playing locally and say they are playing wanna come?

Don’t ask for her number in front of R though, even if she wants to give it she probably wouldn’t due to girl code and newgirl is going to know you guys have been banging.

 

[foolyoufool]

Social media seems like the only option then, as for what to say, this isn’t my realm so can’t help you much try, “hey, we met at X festival at the weekend, nice to meet you.” Then you can add to that with do you like that kind of music, who was your favourite set/band/whatever. Go a step further and check if any of them or that genre is playing locally and say they are playing wanna come?

Don’t ask for her number in front of R though, even if she wants to give it she probably wouldn’t due to girl code and newgirl is going to know you guys have been banging.

Yeah I think you are right - social media may be the only way to go. We definitely have the same music taste, we connected over an artist briefly when we talked.

I'm not so sure I should do this anymore. Seems like very low chance of success and pretty high chance that it will just ruin things with R.