"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How do I handle a manipulative gf?
- Thread starter That_guy
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
women haze
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2009
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- 484
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I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
what did she do...?That_guy said:
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
-Went and got coffee with two different guys on two different occasions without telling me (she told me later, and it was just as friends) On top of that, though she swore that she told that one dude she has a BF, he does not seem to know. Also she was reluctant to introduce me to him as her BF (srsly wtf it took me a lot of tries to finally convince her and even then she does not seem so thrilled) Ok so off-chance that she might like the company of male friends, how come I cannot have a coffee date with MY female friends.
-Its only been a week and we only became facebook official now, which she was reluctant to do as well.
I dont know if its me with the trust issues.
I am changing the question: How do I beat this oneitis? Or save-a-hoe-itis? I seriously dont feel right...........how do I handle this? so close to Christmas and ****
I'll start with the fact that' it's only been a week and you're trying to control this girl and have to twist her arm to have her introduce you as her boyfriend and make it "facebook official."
You're acting really insecure / controling , I don't see her staying with you long.
You have to get yourself in a not so obsessed mindset. You can't bother to be cared if she goes and gets coffee with some dude and you sure as hell can with females if you want to.
You should be too busy hanging out w/ buddies / other girls if you want to w/e. Definitely shouldn't be worried about the relationship status on facebook like that or formalities with what she calls you, sounds like stuff girls get worried about.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
He is.joverby said:
Over the course of 2 weeks, he's gone from asking how to ask a girl out, to thanking Sosuave for helping him get his first "LTR" (it's been a week), and now he's asking how to handle a manipulative gf.
So the only thing left to wonder is...why? Why is this man trolling on a men's site, just to get the attention of men he'll never meet...
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
NewAndImproved
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2008
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- 373
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I bet you're the one who forced her to make things "Facebook official."
Should be the other way around.
She's just not that into you. Learn from your mistakes and try again.
You're really insecure / controlling. I can't stress how much your over looking you've been "dating"(Forced) this girl for A WEEK!! If this was your wife or something you might be in a position to ***** / freak out about it.That_guy said:
Maybe she's talking to other dudes because the guy she thought was normal / fun / cool is turning into a insecure control freak?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
In her mind she has already crossed you out as "another nice guys aka ass kisser" she is with you right now because she has not found another dude yet.. trust when she'll find one she will dump you from the highest building in your city. so yeah be prepared or act before it happens.
Now to liberate yourself from oneitis you have to realize that this woman is just a woman, she has boobs just like any women, and a gina just like any women. You will not be the devil for breaking up with her, she does not respect you (even though you havent done anything to establish that respect) and doesnt really care at this point, if you have any balls just do it
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
For me however. If a girl see's no problem in going out with another guy one on one then I don't see a relationship period.
Things have gotten out of control in one week with your girlfriend because you didn't lay down the law. You shouldn't have gotten into this relationship in the first place because she obviously doesn't comprehend the disrespect she is showing.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
She obviously did but I think your missing the bigger picture. I'm pretty sure it happened BECAUSE of his AFC / clingy behavior. He can be upset for her doing that but I think it would be wise for some self reflection.PrettyBoyAJ said:
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.