I know this seems like a dumb question, but seriously, I have no idea where to look. Every guy I know is either in the same boat as I am, and has no good idea what the hell they're doing, or has a girlfriend/wife and won't go out. So where is the sort of place I should look?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How do I find a GOOD wing?
- Thread starter Das
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Ken785
Master Don Juan
...you become good yourself. A true DJ needs no wing.
The Mayor
Don Juan
Hi Das
I have the same problem. I have tried to find one in more than a year, but no luck so far.
I think one of the problems is that the information on sosuave is to a lot of people very controversial.
I'm trying to start a Boot Camp Working Group - and a post will appear on this forum when the moderators get time to accept it. You could look in to that.
The Mayor
[you have tried the wingman forum right?]
I have the same problem. I have tried to find one in more than a year, but no luck so far.
I think one of the problems is that the information on sosuave is to a lot of people very controversial.
I'm trying to start a Boot Camp Working Group - and a post will appear on this forum when the moderators get time to accept it. You could look in to that.
The Mayor
[you have tried the wingman forum right?]
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
The Mayor
Don Juan
Goog luck
Btw.
I'm totally new to posting on this forum how long does it normally take for a thread to appear?
Btw.
I'm totally new to posting on this forum how long does it normally take for a thread to appear?
ready123
Master Don Juan
yea whatever manKen785 said:
to the OP, whats your skill level? what are your sticking points? are you still working on fundamentals?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
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Kentucky Fried Chicken has the best wings - try there!Das said:
Late reply--Busy week at work
Ready 123--I'm still at the fundamentals stage. I have confidence problems with women. STILL no progress ever, in any way. I have no idea what a good frame is like because I've never gotten anywhere.
It's not so much the wing I'm after, I want correction.
Amethyst-- How can I convert an AFC when I can't even get marginal success myself? I can't even really offer that I'll be able to help them as a wing to them.
I grasp the basics but I just can't get any interest.
Ready 123--I'm still at the fundamentals stage. I have confidence problems with women. STILL no progress ever, in any way. I have no idea what a good frame is like because I've never gotten anywhere.
It's not so much the wing I'm after, I want correction.
Amethyst-- How can I convert an AFC when I can't even get marginal success myself? I can't even really offer that I'll be able to help them as a wing to them.
I grasp the basics but I just can't get any interest.
ready123
Master Don Juan
Das, if you're working on fundamentals, all you need is a wing who has the same goals you do. a wing is not necessarily a mentor. it's a friend who aids you in the field. if you both suck, that's fine, as long as you guys are willing to support each other
go out of with a bunch of buddies to a club or a social environment and have fun trying to hit on girls. even if you all suck, at the very least, enjoy being out with the homies. don't pressure each other to the point where it's an ego thing, just set goals for each other on opening and talking to girls and if you get blown out, realize that 50% of the guys are too scared to try, so by approaching, you're already better than 50% of the guys out there.
at the beginning you're not gonna feel like you're going anywhere and it's gonna be frustrating, but the fact you're putting yourself out there will change you. think about what happened after teach night, try to figure out why you got blown out - even if you have no clue, make a guess. Slowly the "rules" of good game and social interaction will start to form in your head and become tangible. A year from now you might not be a pick-up guru, but you'll definately be a shadow of your formal self and it'll feel good
go out of with a bunch of buddies to a club or a social environment and have fun trying to hit on girls. even if you all suck, at the very least, enjoy being out with the homies. don't pressure each other to the point where it's an ego thing, just set goals for each other on opening and talking to girls and if you get blown out, realize that 50% of the guys are too scared to try, so by approaching, you're already better than 50% of the guys out there.
at the beginning you're not gonna feel like you're going anywhere and it's gonna be frustrating, but the fact you're putting yourself out there will change you. think about what happened after teach night, try to figure out why you got blown out - even if you have no clue, make a guess. Slowly the "rules" of good game and social interaction will start to form in your head and become tangible. A year from now you might not be a pick-up guru, but you'll definately be a shadow of your formal self and it'll feel good
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.