"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do I find a GOOD wing?

Das

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I know this seems like a dumb question, but seriously, I have no idea where to look. Every guy I know is either in the same boat as I am, and has no good idea what the hell they're doing, or has a girlfriend/wife and won't go out. So where is the sort of place I should look?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Das

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Thats the thing. I'm not good. I try like hell, but I don't get any better. It would be easier if I were with someone a bit more seasoned than me to get feedback from
 

The Mayor

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Hi Das
I have the same problem. I have tried to find one in more than a year, but no luck so far.
I think one of the problems is that the information on sosuave is to a lot of people very controversial.

I'm trying to start a Boot Camp Working Group - and a post will appear on this forum when the moderators get time to accept it. You could look in to that.

The Mayor

[you have tried the wingman forum right?]
 

amoka

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Check the wingmen forum. Someone may be your next door neighbour at the forum.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Das

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The Mayor said:
[you have tried the wingman forum right?]

Yeah over 100 views no replies. It was months ago and I was in a terrible head space when I wrote it, so maybe I'll try again
 

JeXiam

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A good wing has to be someone you can trust. You don't want somebody to turn on you just when you had the guts to talk to a girl. Too bad trustful people are hard to find these days.
 

ready123

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Ken785 said:
...you become good yourself. A true DJ needs no wing.
yea whatever man

to the OP, whats your skill level? what are your sticking points? are you still working on fundamentals?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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amethyst

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Best way to get a good wingman is to convert an AFC into a DJ or a PUA, that way you learn together so the group dynamics are better than getting a wing from the fourm.

Love

Amethyst
 

Das

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Late reply--Busy week at work

Ready 123--I'm still at the fundamentals stage. I have confidence problems with women. STILL no progress ever, in any way. I have no idea what a good frame is like because I've never gotten anywhere.

It's not so much the wing I'm after, I want correction.

Amethyst-- How can I convert an AFC when I can't even get marginal success myself? I can't even really offer that I'll be able to help them as a wing to them.


I grasp the basics but I just can't get any interest.
 

ready123

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Das, if you're working on fundamentals, all you need is a wing who has the same goals you do. a wing is not necessarily a mentor. it's a friend who aids you in the field. if you both suck, that's fine, as long as you guys are willing to support each other

go out of with a bunch of buddies to a club or a social environment and have fun trying to hit on girls. even if you all suck, at the very least, enjoy being out with the homies. don't pressure each other to the point where it's an ego thing, just set goals for each other on opening and talking to girls and if you get blown out, realize that 50% of the guys are too scared to try, so by approaching, you're already better than 50% of the guys out there.

at the beginning you're not gonna feel like you're going anywhere and it's gonna be frustrating, but the fact you're putting yourself out there will change you. think about what happened after teach night, try to figure out why you got blown out - even if you have no clue, make a guess. Slowly the "rules" of good game and social interaction will start to form in your head and become tangible. A year from now you might not be a pick-up guru, but you'll definately be a shadow of your formal self and it'll feel good
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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