"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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How did this particular approach go so wrong?

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I'm finding lately that I have a gift for talking to people. Turning that into successful number closes, however is a work in progress.

was in the checkout line tonight at my local grocery store.

"You know...it seems like whenever I walk in here, I need one particular thing that then takes me 30 minutes to find."

She laughed.

"I'm starfishandcoffee."

we BSed about the weather and her bottle of wine, and she seemed happy enough talking to me...not fawning, but I'd have been comfortable asking for a number, given the 2 minute conversation. Then here's what I came out swinging with, since I was up next in line...

"So, under any other circumstance, I'd ask you what you were up to tonight. But then it's probably the same thing we're all up to on a Tuesday...doing homework in our pajamas like me."

Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."

And that was that.

Was this doomed from the start of the approach? I'm not even sure *what* it was I did wrong, even though I know I did it. It may be time to start Don Juan Boot Camp...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Darth

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starfishandcoffee said:
Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."
WARNING..Warning...
B!tch alert...b!tch alert...

Beep
Beep
Beep

Not worth the effort...Not worth the effort...Not worth the effort...

EDIT: Some girls like to play innocuous princess until they're sure they've got you and then...SNAP. The same behavior is observable in several members of the animal kingdom. I just call them LOW-CLASS B!TCHES.
 
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If she was a total ***** (which I understand), then what was with the whole opening "nice" act. Wouldn't a diva want to be a diva 24/7?
 

MikeAndIke

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I don't get it..... After she smirked, what happened? Did you just stop talking or did she walk away? How did the interaction end? I mean, it sounds like you were doing good. You may have shut yourself out with that comment "so under any other circumstance..." but you were doing good.
 

VladPatton

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You never know what you're gonna get with a cold approach. Nothing should surprise you, they know what you're after.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Naughty Ninja

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starfishandcoffee said:
I'm finding lately that I have a gift for talking to people. Turning that into successful number closes, however is a work in progress.

was in the checkout line tonight at my local grocery store.

"You know...it seems like whenever I walk in here, I need one particular thing that then takes me 30 minutes to find."

She laughed.

"I'm starfishandcoffee."

we BSed about the weather and her bottle of wine, and she seemed happy enough talking to me...not fawning, but I'd have been comfortable asking for a number, given the 2 minute conversation. Then here's what I came out swinging with, since I was up next in line...

"So, under any other circumstance, I'd ask you what you were up to tonight. But then it's probably the same thing we're all up to on a Tuesday...doing homework in our pajamas like me."

Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."

And that was that.

Was this doomed from the start of the approach? I'm not even sure *what* it was I did wrong, even though I know I did it. It may be time to start Don Juan Boot Camp...

Most likely it was the fact she had wine and you alluded to meeting her tonight and said "pajamas". The chick picked up that you were looking to come over, drink wine and fvck her.

You could've said: What're you up to tonight? Doing homework like me? Then followed up with something like: Are you good with numbers? Put yours in my phone and we could go wine tasting sometime. (Since she had wine)

If she would've blown you off regardless you could've said something along the lines of: Why leave with sour grapes? Anyway I grade this brief interaction with a "C". C you later!
 
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MikeAndIke said:
I don't get it..... After she smirked, what happened? Did you just stop talking or did she walk away? How did the interaction end? I mean, it sounds like you were doing good. You may have shut yourself out with that comment "so under any other circumstance..." but you were doing good.
I'd just gotten back from the gym, and I didn't appreciate the cvck-punch she'd just given me.

so, yes...I stood there like a b1tch for 30 seconds until I was called to come up next. throw your rotten vegetables.

Darth said:
Some girls like to play innocuous princess until they're sure they've got you and then...SNAP. The same behavior is observable in several members of the animal kingdom. I just call them LOW-CLASS B!TCHES.
This is depressing...however, this why I've stopped taking women seriously. Baby steps.

Naughty Ninja said:
Most likely it was the fact she had wine and you alluded to meeting her tonight and said "pajamas". The chick picked up that you were looking to come over, drink wine and fvck her.

You could've said: What're you up to tonight? Doing homework like me? Then followed up with something like: Are you good with numbers? Put yours in my phone and we could go wine tasting sometime. (Since she had wine)

If she would've blown you off regardless you could've said something along the lines of: Why leave with sour grapes? Anyway I grade this brief interaction with a "C". C you later!
good to know I'm on the right track. I wasn't even intending to hit on her, and it just happened. which, as I believe, is the way these things should happen...
 
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