"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How did this particular approach go so wrong?

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I'm finding lately that I have a gift for talking to people. Turning that into successful number closes, however is a work in progress.

was in the checkout line tonight at my local grocery store.

"You know...it seems like whenever I walk in here, I need one particular thing that then takes me 30 minutes to find."

She laughed.

"I'm starfishandcoffee."

we BSed about the weather and her bottle of wine, and she seemed happy enough talking to me...not fawning, but I'd have been comfortable asking for a number, given the 2 minute conversation. Then here's what I came out swinging with, since I was up next in line...

"So, under any other circumstance, I'd ask you what you were up to tonight. But then it's probably the same thing we're all up to on a Tuesday...doing homework in our pajamas like me."

Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."

And that was that.

Was this doomed from the start of the approach? I'm not even sure *what* it was I did wrong, even though I know I did it. It may be time to start Don Juan Boot Camp...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Darth

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starfishandcoffee said:
Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."
WARNING..Warning...
B!tch alert...b!tch alert...

Beep
Beep
Beep

Not worth the effort...Not worth the effort...Not worth the effort...

EDIT: Some girls like to play innocuous princess until they're sure they've got you and then...SNAP. The same behavior is observable in several members of the animal kingdom. I just call them LOW-CLASS B!TCHES.
 
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If she was a total ***** (which I understand), then what was with the whole opening "nice" act. Wouldn't a diva want to be a diva 24/7?
 

MikeAndIke

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I don't get it..... After she smirked, what happened? Did you just stop talking or did she walk away? How did the interaction end? I mean, it sounds like you were doing good. You may have shut yourself out with that comment "so under any other circumstance..." but you were doing good.
 

VladPatton

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You never know what you're gonna get with a cold approach. Nothing should surprise you, they know what you're after.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Naughty Ninja

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starfishandcoffee said:
I'm finding lately that I have a gift for talking to people. Turning that into successful number closes, however is a work in progress.

was in the checkout line tonight at my local grocery store.

"You know...it seems like whenever I walk in here, I need one particular thing that then takes me 30 minutes to find."

She laughed.

"I'm starfishandcoffee."

we BSed about the weather and her bottle of wine, and she seemed happy enough talking to me...not fawning, but I'd have been comfortable asking for a number, given the 2 minute conversation. Then here's what I came out swinging with, since I was up next in line...

"So, under any other circumstance, I'd ask you what you were up to tonight. But then it's probably the same thing we're all up to on a Tuesday...doing homework in our pajamas like me."

Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."

And that was that.

Was this doomed from the start of the approach? I'm not even sure *what* it was I did wrong, even though I know I did it. It may be time to start Don Juan Boot Camp...

Most likely it was the fact she had wine and you alluded to meeting her tonight and said "pajamas". The chick picked up that you were looking to come over, drink wine and fvck her.

You could've said: What're you up to tonight? Doing homework like me? Then followed up with something like: Are you good with numbers? Put yours in my phone and we could go wine tasting sometime. (Since she had wine)

If she would've blown you off regardless you could've said something along the lines of: Why leave with sour grapes? Anyway I grade this brief interaction with a "C". C you later!
 
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MikeAndIke said:
I don't get it..... After she smirked, what happened? Did you just stop talking or did she walk away? How did the interaction end? I mean, it sounds like you were doing good. You may have shut yourself out with that comment "so under any other circumstance..." but you were doing good.
I'd just gotten back from the gym, and I didn't appreciate the cvck-punch she'd just given me.

so, yes...I stood there like a b1tch for 30 seconds until I was called to come up next. throw your rotten vegetables.

Darth said:
Some girls like to play innocuous princess until they're sure they've got you and then...SNAP. The same behavior is observable in several members of the animal kingdom. I just call them LOW-CLASS B!TCHES.
This is depressing...however, this why I've stopped taking women seriously. Baby steps.

Naughty Ninja said:
Most likely it was the fact she had wine and you alluded to meeting her tonight and said "pajamas". The chick picked up that you were looking to come over, drink wine and fvck her.

You could've said: What're you up to tonight? Doing homework like me? Then followed up with something like: Are you good with numbers? Put yours in my phone and we could go wine tasting sometime. (Since she had wine)

If she would've blown you off regardless you could've said something along the lines of: Why leave with sour grapes? Anyway I grade this brief interaction with a "C". C you later!
good to know I'm on the right track. I wasn't even intending to hit on her, and it just happened. which, as I believe, is the way these things should happen...
 
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