"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How did this particular approach go so wrong?

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I'm finding lately that I have a gift for talking to people. Turning that into successful number closes, however is a work in progress.

was in the checkout line tonight at my local grocery store.

"You know...it seems like whenever I walk in here, I need one particular thing that then takes me 30 minutes to find."

She laughed.

"I'm starfishandcoffee."

we BSed about the weather and her bottle of wine, and she seemed happy enough talking to me...not fawning, but I'd have been comfortable asking for a number, given the 2 minute conversation. Then here's what I came out swinging with, since I was up next in line...

"So, under any other circumstance, I'd ask you what you were up to tonight. But then it's probably the same thing we're all up to on a Tuesday...doing homework in our pajamas like me."

Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."

And that was that.

Was this doomed from the start of the approach? I'm not even sure *what* it was I did wrong, even though I know I did it. It may be time to start Don Juan Boot Camp...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Darth

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starfishandcoffee said:
Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."
WARNING..Warning...
B!tch alert...b!tch alert...

Beep
Beep
Beep

Not worth the effort...Not worth the effort...Not worth the effort...

EDIT: Some girls like to play innocuous princess until they're sure they've got you and then...SNAP. The same behavior is observable in several members of the animal kingdom. I just call them LOW-CLASS B!TCHES.
 
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If she was a total ***** (which I understand), then what was with the whole opening "nice" act. Wouldn't a diva want to be a diva 24/7?
 

MikeAndIke

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I don't get it..... After she smirked, what happened? Did you just stop talking or did she walk away? How did the interaction end? I mean, it sounds like you were doing good. You may have shut yourself out with that comment "so under any other circumstance..." but you were doing good.
 

VladPatton

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You never know what you're gonna get with a cold approach. Nothing should surprise you, they know what you're after.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Naughty Ninja

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starfishandcoffee said:
I'm finding lately that I have a gift for talking to people. Turning that into successful number closes, however is a work in progress.

was in the checkout line tonight at my local grocery store.

"You know...it seems like whenever I walk in here, I need one particular thing that then takes me 30 minutes to find."

She laughed.

"I'm starfishandcoffee."

we BSed about the weather and her bottle of wine, and she seemed happy enough talking to me...not fawning, but I'd have been comfortable asking for a number, given the 2 minute conversation. Then here's what I came out swinging with, since I was up next in line...

"So, under any other circumstance, I'd ask you what you were up to tonight. But then it's probably the same thing we're all up to on a Tuesday...doing homework in our pajamas like me."

Her pleasant demeanor turned into a smirk.

"Well, good for you."

And that was that.

Was this doomed from the start of the approach? I'm not even sure *what* it was I did wrong, even though I know I did it. It may be time to start Don Juan Boot Camp...

Most likely it was the fact she had wine and you alluded to meeting her tonight and said "pajamas". The chick picked up that you were looking to come over, drink wine and fvck her.

You could've said: What're you up to tonight? Doing homework like me? Then followed up with something like: Are you good with numbers? Put yours in my phone and we could go wine tasting sometime. (Since she had wine)

If she would've blown you off regardless you could've said something along the lines of: Why leave with sour grapes? Anyway I grade this brief interaction with a "C". C you later!
 
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MikeAndIke said:
I don't get it..... After she smirked, what happened? Did you just stop talking or did she walk away? How did the interaction end? I mean, it sounds like you were doing good. You may have shut yourself out with that comment "so under any other circumstance..." but you were doing good.
I'd just gotten back from the gym, and I didn't appreciate the cvck-punch she'd just given me.

so, yes...I stood there like a b1tch for 30 seconds until I was called to come up next. throw your rotten vegetables.

Darth said:
Some girls like to play innocuous princess until they're sure they've got you and then...SNAP. The same behavior is observable in several members of the animal kingdom. I just call them LOW-CLASS B!TCHES.
This is depressing...however, this why I've stopped taking women seriously. Baby steps.

Naughty Ninja said:
Most likely it was the fact she had wine and you alluded to meeting her tonight and said "pajamas". The chick picked up that you were looking to come over, drink wine and fvck her.

You could've said: What're you up to tonight? Doing homework like me? Then followed up with something like: Are you good with numbers? Put yours in my phone and we could go wine tasting sometime. (Since she had wine)

If she would've blown you off regardless you could've said something along the lines of: Why leave with sour grapes? Anyway I grade this brief interaction with a "C". C you later!
good to know I'm on the right track. I wasn't even intending to hit on her, and it just happened. which, as I believe, is the way these things should happen...
 
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