"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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How can I tell if I feel love for this girl or only have affection/feelings for her??

BannedGod

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We haven't been dating for a long time (1week) but I know she already loves me a lot (well that's what she says anyways). Problem is, I don't really love her (I've known her for a week as well, not enough time for me to fall in love with someone) so I'm going to have to tell her that and that I need more time to figure out my feelings for her (yay for honesty; I'm a real honest guy lol)... Now it's clear I have feelings for her, but I doubt it's love, at least not yet. My problem is, how can I see the difference between the two of them?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ripper

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Dude, when you love someone you just know. It is wholly subjective. There's no objective criteria you can appeal to. Always remember, if you need to ask then you aren't in love.
 

BannedGod

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Ripper said:
Dude, when you love someone you just know. It is wholly subjective. There's no objective criteria you can appeal to. Always remember, if you need to ask then you aren't in love.
Mmmmh well I know for sure I don't love her yet... I can't love someone I've met and dated for a week... It's just I don't know how I'll know, in time, if I really love her or only have affection for her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Ripper

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BannedGod said:
Mmmmh well I know for sure I don't love her yet... I can't love someone I've met and dated for a week... It's just I don't know how I'll know, in time, if I really love her or only have affection for her.
Don't worry about it dude. You'll know in good time. It's one of those things that just hits you from out of the blue; kinda like a huge epiphany (at least in my experience.
 

Nighthawk

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Would you find her more attractive if she wasn't being so needy?

Could be a test. Of course you can't love her after a week, and if you say you do she thinks you're fake or desperate.

She needs to earn your trust a bit before you talk of love. She'll respect you more for being honest about your doubts, and your value will be higher.
 

BannedGod

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Nighthawk said:
Would you find her more attractive if she wasn't being so needy?

Could be a test. Of course you can't love her after a week, and if you say you do she thinks you're fake or desperate.

She needs to earn your trust a bit before you talk of love. She'll respect you more for being honest about your doubts, and your value will be higher.
Ok yea that pretty much decided me... But how should I approach this? Should I tell her we should stop dating until I'm sure? Or keep dating and I'll find out in due time?
 

flexion_

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BannedGod said:
We haven't been dating for a long time (1week) but I know she already loves me a lot (well that's what she says anyways). Problem is, I don't really love her (I've known her for a week as well, not enough time for me to fall in love with someone) so I'm going to have to tell her that and that I need more time to figure out my feelings for her (yay for honesty; I'm a real honest guy lol)... Now it's clear I have feelings for her, but I doubt it's love, at least not yet. My problem is, how can I see the difference between the two of them?
OH MY GOD. You have known her for 1 week and you are worried about love? Have this dicussion when you are in an exclusive sexual relationship for 3 months.

IGNORE what she is saying. Judge things by what she is actually DOING.
Women love their dogs, cellphones and lipstick after one week too.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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