"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How can I tell if I feel love for this girl or only have affection/feelings for her??

B

BannedGod

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We haven't been dating for a long time (1week) but I know she already loves me a lot (well that's what she says anyways). Problem is, I don't really love her (I've known her for a week as well, not enough time for me to fall in love with someone) so I'm going to have to tell her that and that I need more time to figure out my feelings for her (yay for honesty; I'm a real honest guy lol)... Now it's clear I have feelings for her, but I doubt it's love, at least not yet. My problem is, how can I see the difference between the two of them?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

Ripper

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Dude, when you love someone you just know. It is wholly subjective. There's no objective criteria you can appeal to. Always remember, if you need to ask then you aren't in love.
 
B

BannedGod

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Ripper said:
Dude, when you love someone you just know. It is wholly subjective. There's no objective criteria you can appeal to. Always remember, if you need to ask then you aren't in love.
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Mmmmh well I know for sure I don't love her yet... I can't love someone I've met and dated for a week... It's just I don't know how I'll know, in time, if I really love her or only have affection for her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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R

Ripper

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BannedGod said:
Mmmmh well I know for sure I don't love her yet... I can't love someone I've met and dated for a week... It's just I don't know how I'll know, in time, if I really love her or only have affection for her.
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Don't worry about it dude. You'll know in good time. It's one of those things that just hits you from out of the blue; kinda like a huge epiphany (at least in my experience.
 
N

Nighthawk

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Would you find her more attractive if she wasn't being so needy?

Could be a test. Of course you can't love her after a week, and if you say you do she thinks you're fake or desperate.

She needs to earn your trust a bit before you talk of love. She'll respect you more for being honest about your doubts, and your value will be higher.
 
B

BannedGod

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Nighthawk said:
Would you find her more attractive if she wasn't being so needy?

Could be a test. Of course you can't love her after a week, and if you say you do she thinks you're fake or desperate.

She needs to earn your trust a bit before you talk of love. She'll respect you more for being honest about your doubts, and your value will be higher.
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Ok yea that pretty much decided me... But how should I approach this? Should I tell her we should stop dating until I'm sure? Or keep dating and I'll find out in due time?
 
F

flexion_

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BannedGod said:
We haven't been dating for a long time (1week) but I know she already loves me a lot (well that's what she says anyways). Problem is, I don't really love her (I've known her for a week as well, not enough time for me to fall in love with someone) so I'm going to have to tell her that and that I need more time to figure out my feelings for her (yay for honesty; I'm a real honest guy lol)... Now it's clear I have feelings for her, but I doubt it's love, at least not yet. My problem is, how can I see the difference between the two of them?
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OH MY GOD. You have known her for 1 week and you are worried about love? Have this dicussion when you are in an exclusive sexual relationship for 3 months.

IGNORE what she is saying. Judge things by what she is actually DOING.
Women love their dogs, cellphones and lipstick after one week too.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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