"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How badly did I screw this up??

EastCoastGuy83

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I dated this 8.5/10 chick for 2 months. Everything was going great until she dumped me out of the blue. She said didn't feel feel a connection and didn't see a future for us. The sex was great, but I acted kinda immature, she was three years older than me, and she made more money than me.

After one week of no contact I texted her and wanted to meet up to talk (big mistake I know). We talked but she didn't want to get back together.

Two days later I unfriend her from facebook, and a day later I saw her re-appear on tinder. A week after unfriending her I sent another friend request and a text saying it was immature of me to delete her. She re-added me as a friend and said that was ok, but didn't text anything else to me.

From there I did another week no contact and texted her again asking how her job was going and if she wanted to meet up for a drink some night (another mistake). She replied and said she was good but it wasn't a good idea to meet because it would mean more to me than it would to her. Two hours later I replied with an angry text saying I shouldn't have even asked to meet for a drink and if she knew it wasn't working she should have dumped me after a month. She didn't reply.

I then went 21 days no contact. I went on dates with other women from tinder but these girls were 5-6's at best. After 21 days I sent my ex a short message saying I shouldn't have sent that angry text and sometimes it takes me a few failed attempts before I get the message it's over. I was trying to be funny, but unfortunately she didn't reply. That was one week ago.

Here's the thing. Why doesn't she just delete me on facebook or tell me not to contact her anymore? Not replying to me just seems cold.

I know she hasn't added any guys as facebook friends in the 6 weeks she has been on tinder. I know because I check her recently added facebook friends a few times a week (I realize facebook stalking is bad).

I'm tempted to just block her on facebook, but am confused because she isn't dating anyone and she told me she has been on anxiety medication in the past. She was also the best sex I ever had. I guess if I go 100% no contact she may eventually message me, but that is a very long shot and may take months or years.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Trump

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Bro when a girl tells you "its over." you disappear like a magician. Any type of messages, texts, get togethers, and you are just validating her decision.

A woman 3 years older and making a higher salary is only good for sleeping with. If you are looking for something long term, she'll be looking to make your head spin.
 

btownbuck2012

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I dated this 8.5/10 chick for 2 months. Everything was going great until she dumped me out of the blue. She said didn't feel feel a connection and didn't see a future for us. The sex was great, but I acted kinda immature, she was three years older than me, and she made more money than me

After one week of no contact I texted her and wanted to meet up to talk (big mistake I know). We talked but she didn't want to get back together.

Two days later I decided to unfriend her from facebook, and a day after that I saw her re-appear on tinder. A week after unfriending her I sent another friend request and a text saying it was immature of me to delete her. She re-added me as a friend and said that was ok, but didn't text anything else to me.

From there I did one more week no contact and texted her again asking how her job was going and if she wanted to meet up for a drink some night (another mistake). She replied to my text and said she was good but it wasn't a good idea to meet because it would mean more to me than it would to her. Two hours later I replied with an angry text saying I shouldn't have even asked to meet for a drink and if she knew it wasn't working she should have dumped me after a month. She didn't reply.

I then went 21 days no contact. I went on dates with other women from tinder but these girls were 5-6's at best. After 21 days I sent my ex a short text saying I shouldn't have sent that angry text and sometimes it takes me a few failed attempts before I get the message it's over. I was basically trying to be funny, but unfortunately she didn't reply. That was one week ago.

Here's the thing. Why doesn't she just delete me on facebook or tell me not to contact her anymore? Not replying to my texts just seems cold.

I can see that she hasn't added any guys as facebook friends in the 6 weeks she has been on tinder. I know because I check her recently added facebook friends a few times a week (I know facebook stalking is bad).

I'm tempted to just block her on facebook, but am confused because she isn't dating anyone and she has told me she has been on anxiety medication in the past. She was also the best sex I ever had. I guess if I go 100% no contact she may eventually message me, but that is a very long shot and may take months or years.
How do you know she thought the sex was good?
 

mrgoodstuff

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You're wasting your time. Block her immediately and move on. Find a new woman. You can't go back.
He can't go back, but she can come back to him. They usually do. Frame it around a meeting, don't spend a bunch of time chit-chatting.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jester1x

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If it ever happens again, say "OK" then walk. If there was even a slight chance of her coming back to her, you blew it by trying to maintain some or any form of contact with her. It just shows you have no self respect nor value.

I've done it in the past too. It has never worked and is a complete waste of precious time and energy.
 

resilient

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Forget the hooking up with you did with her. That's ancient history. Block her and stop checking her FB. Now. Time to vanish and focus on new prospects.

 

stovepipe

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As the poster above stated, you're giving her an ego boost with the whole FB thing. Also making yourself look desperate which makes you less attractive to her. Let it go, you will only drive yourself more crazy if you don't.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Glassguy

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Remove the FB and all other social media and you will remove the temptation to stalk her every move. Plus she will realize that you cut all ties and it will drive her nuts, not that you will care because she will be blocked.
 

The Duke

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Eastcoastguy- I'd suggest you stop worrying about her and start worrying more about yourself. You have a lot of maturing/learning to do. This girl was straight up with you. She wasn't being confusing, she said there was "NO CONNECTION". Get over yourself.

You are acting like a needy little game playing beta biatch.
 

EastCoastGuy83

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Thanks for the advice everyone. It's helpful to hear different points of view.
 
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