"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How badly did I screw this up??

EastCoastGuy83

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I dated this 8.5/10 chick for 2 months. Everything was going great until she dumped me out of the blue. She said didn't feel feel a connection and didn't see a future for us. The sex was great, but I acted kinda immature, she was three years older than me, and she made more money than me.

After one week of no contact I texted her and wanted to meet up to talk (big mistake I know). We talked but she didn't want to get back together.

Two days later I unfriend her from facebook, and a day later I saw her re-appear on tinder. A week after unfriending her I sent another friend request and a text saying it was immature of me to delete her. She re-added me as a friend and said that was ok, but didn't text anything else to me.

From there I did another week no contact and texted her again asking how her job was going and if she wanted to meet up for a drink some night (another mistake). She replied and said she was good but it wasn't a good idea to meet because it would mean more to me than it would to her. Two hours later I replied with an angry text saying I shouldn't have even asked to meet for a drink and if she knew it wasn't working she should have dumped me after a month. She didn't reply.

I then went 21 days no contact. I went on dates with other women from tinder but these girls were 5-6's at best. After 21 days I sent my ex a short message saying I shouldn't have sent that angry text and sometimes it takes me a few failed attempts before I get the message it's over. I was trying to be funny, but unfortunately she didn't reply. That was one week ago.

Here's the thing. Why doesn't she just delete me on facebook or tell me not to contact her anymore? Not replying to me just seems cold.

I know she hasn't added any guys as facebook friends in the 6 weeks she has been on tinder. I know because I check her recently added facebook friends a few times a week (I realize facebook stalking is bad).

I'm tempted to just block her on facebook, but am confused because she isn't dating anyone and she told me she has been on anxiety medication in the past. She was also the best sex I ever had. I guess if I go 100% no contact she may eventually message me, but that is a very long shot and may take months or years.
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Trump

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Bro when a girl tells you "its over." you disappear like a magician. Any type of messages, texts, get togethers, and you are just validating her decision.

A woman 3 years older and making a higher salary is only good for sleeping with. If you are looking for something long term, she'll be looking to make your head spin.
 

btownbuck2012

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I dated this 8.5/10 chick for 2 months. Everything was going great until she dumped me out of the blue. She said didn't feel feel a connection and didn't see a future for us. The sex was great, but I acted kinda immature, she was three years older than me, and she made more money than me

After one week of no contact I texted her and wanted to meet up to talk (big mistake I know). We talked but she didn't want to get back together.

Two days later I decided to unfriend her from facebook, and a day after that I saw her re-appear on tinder. A week after unfriending her I sent another friend request and a text saying it was immature of me to delete her. She re-added me as a friend and said that was ok, but didn't text anything else to me.

From there I did one more week no contact and texted her again asking how her job was going and if she wanted to meet up for a drink some night (another mistake). She replied to my text and said she was good but it wasn't a good idea to meet because it would mean more to me than it would to her. Two hours later I replied with an angry text saying I shouldn't have even asked to meet for a drink and if she knew it wasn't working she should have dumped me after a month. She didn't reply.

I then went 21 days no contact. I went on dates with other women from tinder but these girls were 5-6's at best. After 21 days I sent my ex a short text saying I shouldn't have sent that angry text and sometimes it takes me a few failed attempts before I get the message it's over. I was basically trying to be funny, but unfortunately she didn't reply. That was one week ago.

Here's the thing. Why doesn't she just delete me on facebook or tell me not to contact her anymore? Not replying to my texts just seems cold.

I can see that she hasn't added any guys as facebook friends in the 6 weeks she has been on tinder. I know because I check her recently added facebook friends a few times a week (I know facebook stalking is bad).

I'm tempted to just block her on facebook, but am confused because she isn't dating anyone and she has told me she has been on anxiety medication in the past. She was also the best sex I ever had. I guess if I go 100% no contact she may eventually message me, but that is a very long shot and may take months or years.
How do you know she thought the sex was good?
 

mrgoodstuff

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You're wasting your time. Block her immediately and move on. Find a new woman. You can't go back.
He can't go back, but she can come back to him. They usually do. Frame it around a meeting, don't spend a bunch of time chit-chatting.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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jester1x

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If it ever happens again, say "OK" then walk. If there was even a slight chance of her coming back to her, you blew it by trying to maintain some or any form of contact with her. It just shows you have no self respect nor value.

I've done it in the past too. It has never worked and is a complete waste of precious time and energy.
 

resilient

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Forget the hooking up with you did with her. That's ancient history. Block her and stop checking her FB. Now. Time to vanish and focus on new prospects.

 

stovepipe

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As the poster above stated, you're giving her an ego boost with the whole FB thing. Also making yourself look desperate which makes you less attractive to her. Let it go, you will only drive yourself more crazy if you don't.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Glassguy

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Remove the FB and all other social media and you will remove the temptation to stalk her every move. Plus she will realize that you cut all ties and it will drive her nuts, not that you will care because she will be blocked.
 

The Duke

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Eastcoastguy- I'd suggest you stop worrying about her and start worrying more about yourself. You have a lot of maturing/learning to do. This girl was straight up with you. She wasn't being confusing, she said there was "NO CONNECTION". Get over yourself.

You are acting like a needy little game playing beta biatch.
 

EastCoastGuy83

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Thanks for the advice everyone. It's helpful to hear different points of view.
 
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