marriage = contractFrancisco d'Anconia said:So we are talking about the difference between commitments and contracts...![]()
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
marriage = contractFrancisco d'Anconia said:So we are talking about the difference between commitments and contracts...![]()
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
A contract with a great golden parachute for women and a fvcked up escape clause for men.Latinoman said:marriage = contract
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You are talking about how this will affect the HUSBAND. I am talking about how it will effect the lover.Latinoman said:Okay...lets assume your business partner is with this slut (money hungry slut).
Let's say something happens to him that cost his life. Do you the difference between having that "money hungry slut" as a girlfriend vs. having her as a wife?
As a girlfriend...she is out of the picture.
As a wife...she will take over his portion of the business and if she wants too...she can sell her portion.
That's the difference between LEGAL commitment and commitment.
That depends if the willingly manipulative woman is not just using you to tick her husband off and consequently blow your brains out with a handgun.Bonhomme said::yes:
In fact, if you do it halfway good, she will often give her power to you ...
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Are you suggesting that some guys would WANT to have their wives cheat on them?Bonhomme said:The problem with the "golden rule" is that everybody want to be "done unto" in different ways.
I might enjoy someone blasting some whacked-out spazz-rock, whereas someone else might be driven crazy by it.
I've found that everything comes down to circumstances. But beware of people using that as a cop-out from responsibility.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Focus on single women...absolutely. But we're ALL opportunists when it comes to sex, anyone who says different is lying.Mr.Positive said:I'll focus on the single quality woman.
True, however my point is that as men, we should have enough self-control to CHOOSE which opportunity is worth pursuing.STR8UP said:Focus on single women...absolutely. But we're ALL opportunists when it comes to sex, anyone who says different is lying.
The "golden rule" has little if any foundation other than making you feel good (any maybe playing the morality card). Consider the non-smokers who have died from Cancer because of second hand smoke. Consider a mother, father and their nine month old daugher who dies while driving home from Grandma's on a Saturday night because they got broadsided by a drunk driver who miraclessly survives the accident.Bonhomme said:The problem with the "golden rule" is that everybody want to be "done unto" in different ways.....
Your words....the first line in your post.Mr.Positive said:I'm sorta kicking myself for this one...
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Francisco....I think this might be your best post to date.Francisco d'Anconia said:The "golden rule" has little if any foundation other than making you feel good (any maybe playing the morality card). Consider the non-smokers who have died from Cancer because of second hand smoke. Consider a mother, father and their nine month old daugher who dies while driving home from Grandma's on a Saturday night because they got broadsided by a drunk driver who miraclessly survives the accident.
Consider the contless men, women and children who have shot dead at school or work by some pissed of guy who just broken up with his girlfriend, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time because they either was trying to get an education of make enough money for the mortgage... "Golden rule..." Pffffttttttt......
The Golden Rule, Karma, Faith and the like are pannaceas that help people get through life, it's just another form of "hope." Hope has no effect on your destiny nor the destinies of others. Consider my examples, did hope or the golden rule help any of those people in their times of need? At best it gives them some solice if something beyond their control happens.
Your actions have outcomes, or consequences for those who enjoy focusing on the possible fear, gloom and doom of their actions. I seldom hear about the consequences of someone who gets a good education or someone who achieves in securing a career that's viable to them. Are their outcomes consequences? Bygones...
The purpose of this sermon was to point out that the many of the "feel good" sayings tossed around in society only do one thing, they make you feel good, it has little bearing on what's happening around you; anyone remember "Don't worry be happy?" What Bonhomme said about people wanting to be done onto in different ways is an attestment that projecting those sayings (your epectations) beyond yourself into the rest of the world is akin to putting your fate into someone elses hands.
:yes: You've got it. In your first example, you are just a third party (unless you yourself have committed yourself to someone). She is cheating on her husband. Who are you cheating on, her husband too?STR8UP said:...When you fukk someone elses wife or g/f YOU aren't doing anything wrong. When you ARE the wife or g/f, you ARE doing something wrong. If it's your best friends girl, that's a different story.
Good point. All Karma does is give people a reason to b1tch and gripe sometime in the future when they are in the wrong place at the wrong time, they can blame it on Karma (an easy scapegoat).STR8UP said:...
What if you didn't KNOW she was married? You still fukked a married woman. Is Karma gonna get you in a case like this?
You are right. At the time of this post, which was only hours after, I was questioning my reaction. Honestly, I was thinking "how in the f*ck could I have passed this up?"STR8UP said:Your words....the first line in your post.
You were caught with your pants down (bad euphamism) and in retrospect you didn't react how you would have liked to.
Great post, this is very deep, and a lot to ponder.Francisco d'Anconia said:The Golden Rule, Karma, Faith and the like are pannaceas that help people get through life, it's just another form of "hope." Hope has no effect on your destiny nor the destinies of others. Consider my examples, did hope or the golden rule help any of those people in their times of need? At best it gives them some solice if something beyond their control happens.
The purpose of this sermon was to point out that the many of the "feel good" sayings tossed around in society only do one thing, they make you feel good, it has little bearing on what's happening around you; anyone remember "Don't worry be happy?" What Bonhomme said about people wanting to be done onto in different ways is an attestment that projecting those sayings (your epectations) beyond yourself into the rest of the world is akin to putting your fate into someone elses hands.
'Nuff said.Mr.Positive said:...Karma doesn't pay dividends for good behavior.
...Maybe, if more men lead as individuals, the group, as a whole will benefit.
...The reward..is within ourselves.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.