"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Hitting it from the back

E

Ease

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As a rookie at back door invasions, does anyone have any words on this?

First, what lube would you use. I see the 'sex lubricants' in pharmacy, but there must be something more common. I thought about olive oil, but that sounds like a bad idea.

Also, what is the likelyhood of getting **** on your sword? That would definitely be a mood killer for me.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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S

SoldMySoul

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Ease said:
As a rookie at back door invasions, does anyone have any words on this?

First, what lube would you use. I see the 'sex lubricants' in pharmacy, but there must be something more common. I thought about olive oil, but that sounds like a bad idea.

Also, what is the likelyhood of getting **** on your sword? That would definitely be a mood killer for me.
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I cannot believe I am answering this! Astro Glide, KY and many other water based products are best! Yes, you can get $hit on your shaft, but if she cleans well enough not so much. I have never let the $hit on my shingle deter me from backdoor action. If she is hot, you deal with it unless it is a damn mess.
 
speed dawg

speed dawg

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Olive oil, WTF?
 
T

thefonz

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I hear that a girls' tears make the best lube....

But seriously, word on the street is that astroglide is the best for ballonknot boning. Go to like a sex or pot shop someplace and they should sell it there.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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D

Drum&Bass

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You NEED to expect to get sh!t on your **** thats just the way it is...Just be cool about it dont mention it to her and wash up.

and for god sake !!! PLEASE DON'T MAKE HER SUCK YOUR D!CK AFTER HAVING ANAL !!
 
Poonani Maker

Poonani Maker

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Ahhh condom? Just change condoms, sh!t is gone...
 
J

Julian

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piitb
 
G

Gears of Led Zep

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Wow! At first I thought the title was a euphemism, guess not! No subtlties in this thread

I think you should be mentally prepared and not just d1ck-prepared...personally I only feel around the EXIT with my fingers...I save my chinese dragon for the real spec ops missions

sorry Ease this thread is hilarious
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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