"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Here's the grossest story you've heard all day

Bible_Belt

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An ex from school I still talk to has a cute little dog that she took to the vet because she kept noticing yellow slimy stuff on her butt. The vet decided that he was going to check the dog's anal glands and when he made the mistake of squeezing them, the dog's butt gave out a gigantic puss explosion that covered the vet and most of his office. Apparently it was infected. There was yellow puss all over the vet; he had to go shower. They were wiping the stuff off the walls, paperwork, tables, the floor; dog butt puss was everywhere.

I bet that is the grossest thing you've heard all day.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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KontrollerX

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Yeesh...

Between this and HandyAndy's anal abcess Sosuave has become infection central heh heh yuck ugh. :p :crackup:
 

HandyAndy

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gay, that dogs got nothin on me and my cyst, id let you guys in on the juicy details but i couldnt see what was going on, good thing because that smell is going to haunt me the rest of my life :)
 

MaddXMan

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Years ago: My aunt was in her lazyboy recliner w/ the footrest up. Late at nite, only the tv on. She wants to go to bed, turns off the tv and puts the footrest down, hears a muffled "yip." Her little dog was under there. My aunt picks up the dog to comfort him, and is petting him in the dark and feels dampness.......she turns the light on to see that the dogs head had been under the footrest when she brought it down, and one of his eyes was hanging out of the socket by the stalk(? don't know the word for it). He was still alive but had to be put to sleep after that!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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