Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Here's the grossest story you've heard all day

Bible_Belt

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An ex from school I still talk to has a cute little dog that she took to the vet because she kept noticing yellow slimy stuff on her butt. The vet decided that he was going to check the dog's anal glands and when he made the mistake of squeezing them, the dog's butt gave out a gigantic puss explosion that covered the vet and most of his office. Apparently it was infected. There was yellow puss all over the vet; he had to go shower. They were wiping the stuff off the walls, paperwork, tables, the floor; dog butt puss was everywhere.

I bet that is the grossest thing you've heard all day.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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KontrollerX

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Yeesh...

Between this and HandyAndy's anal abcess Sosuave has become infection central heh heh yuck ugh. :p :crackup:
 

HandyAndy

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gay, that dogs got nothin on me and my cyst, id let you guys in on the juicy details but i couldnt see what was going on, good thing because that smell is going to haunt me the rest of my life :)
 

MaddXMan

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Years ago: My aunt was in her lazyboy recliner w/ the footrest up. Late at nite, only the tv on. She wants to go to bed, turns off the tv and puts the footrest down, hears a muffled "yip." Her little dog was under there. My aunt picks up the dog to comfort him, and is petting him in the dark and feels dampness.......she turns the light on to see that the dogs head had been under the footrest when she brought it down, and one of his eyes was hanging out of the socket by the stalk(? don't know the word for it). He was still alive but had to be put to sleep after that!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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