Help! I don't feel like me , I used to be really confident have this on top of the world feeling. I use to not give a **** about what people thought about me and now on top of all that I can't talk to chicks. Can anybody help me get back to my old self? I feel like I don't have the will to do anything.Nothing feels right.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Help!
- Thread starter JBozz
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
It's probably temporary. I have spurts of this feeling often. Go work out.
Jack Wealthy
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2010
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- 819
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I do also. I recovered when I stopped comparing myself to the old me, people change. Focus on a new better you.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Game isn't a hobby, it's a biological imperative.JBozz said:Soccer, chess, programming , and I game.
But aside from that, get more hobbies.
On top of that, weightlift.
Finally, just go out a lot. Not just to parties or women, just go out a lot.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
bullethead
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2011
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Stop jacking off and watching porn. You will feel uncomfortable, but at least you don't crash from a dopamine release high.
Dopamine?bullethead said:Stop jacking off and watching porn. You will feel uncomfortable, but at least you don't crash from a dopamine release high.
Dopamine?bullethead said:Stop jacking off and watching porn. You will feel uncomfortable, but at least you don't crash from a dopamine release high.
LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
Chemical in your brain. He's right.JBozz said:Dopamine?
Your defeatist attitude is holding you back. Instead of saying "I had back surgery, I can't exercise" say "I had back surgery, what can I do to exercise?" (and don't ask us, I've got no clue, figure it out.)
Any desire to be musical? I had been trying to play harmonica, but diatonics are very limited instruments, its hard to understand theory. Working on piano now, hopefully I'll stick with em and be good in 5 years.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.