Eggchen
Don Juan
This forum has turned to ****.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Help!!! Girl I met just wants to be friends! What can I do?
- Thread starter Guitar_Whizz
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Master Don Juan
Chinese black magic!!!!
Guitar_Whizz
Master Don Juan
Ok, thanks for all your replies.
I'm struggling to think where I went wrong though. It seems to me that there is an EXTREMELY fine line between being too laid back and being too forward with a girl, and if you get it wrong, you're doomed.
I really need to go back to basics here, as I'm still finding it hard to determine exactly what I did wrong.
I'm struggling to think where I went wrong though. It seems to me that there is an EXTREMELY fine line between being too laid back and being too forward with a girl, and if you get it wrong, you're doomed.
I really need to go back to basics here, as I'm still finding it hard to determine exactly what I did wrong.
Well, there's an EXTREMELY fat line between being too laid back and being too desperate. You don't e-mail the girl 2 hours after the date. You don't let her bring 2 friends along on a date. I agree you have to go back to basics, because this is pretty basic stuff that you screwed up.
Honestly, you need to forget about this girl, you aren't going to get anywhere with her. Emailing back and forth online isn't going to help your cause at all, to begin with. Some of that **** you pulled was pretty ***** too, "OH THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME IT WAS FUN", that's her line bro, not yours. And then asking if she would want to hang out with you again? What's that communicate to her?
It isn't communicating the fact that you are a confident, self-assured MAN, that's for sure. Right now, anything you do with her is just gonna dig you in deeper to the friend zone, because A. She sees you as just a friend right now, and that 99% likely isn't gonna just shift, and B. you're gonna act like a desperate loser around her because of it. If you really care that much, best thing to do is just drop her for a month or two, then start over with her, and even then you aren't guaranteed success.
It isn't communicating the fact that you are a confident, self-assured MAN, that's for sure. Right now, anything you do with her is just gonna dig you in deeper to the friend zone, because A. She sees you as just a friend right now, and that 99% likely isn't gonna just shift, and B. you're gonna act like a desperate loser around her because of it. If you really care that much, best thing to do is just drop her for a month or two, then start over with her, and even then you aren't guaranteed success.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Yeah, f*ck man, how the hell are you going to generate any sort of spark when the two friends have come along. Surely you were awkward in that situation.
I realise that this is an online thing, so caution is necessary, but if you absolutely had to go, you should have brought two guys along as well, at least maybe you'd stand a chance with one of the girls.
This online sh*t sounds like a waste of time unless your are getting hookers.
I realise that this is an online thing, so caution is necessary, but if you absolutely had to go, you should have brought two guys along as well, at least maybe you'd stand a chance with one of the girls.
This online sh*t sounds like a waste of time unless your are getting hookers.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Isn't anyone going to question why it would take a DJ months to meet a woman face to face??? Isn't this just a bit strange to any of you? Just remember, unless she hit you over the head with a hammer, all of the pain you are feeling is coming from inside your own brain. From your point of view you were on your way to a life filled with fun days and nights with your new love. From her point of view she got to know you, decided she only liked you as a friend, and tried to let you down easy. Next time don't build up a "relationship" in your mind where one does not exist yet. That way if you do get put into the LJBF zone it won't matter as much.
Once you realize SHE didn't do anything to you it might make it easier to move on.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.